How to Move in With Your Boyfriend

Moving in with your boyfriend is a big step emotionally, financially and physically. Your relationship is going to get a bit more complicated. Talk openly before you move in to make sure you're taking the best step for your relationship. And, if you do move in together, follow some of the steps below to ensure the health of your relationship.

Difficulty:

Moderate

Instructions

Before You Move In

1. Define your relationship. Do an emotional inventory. Make sure you are both on the same page and you are both ready to make this step. Think of why you are moving in.

2. Consider finances. If you are getting a brand new place and have never lived alone, you might want to budget out your expenses. Consider rent, utilities, food, transportation, furniture, repairs and other incidental costs. Decide on how you are going to split the costs.

3. Lay down rules. Have a plan for when issues come up. Explain some of your habits and expectations and be prepared to make some compromises.

Once You Move In

1. Leave yourself some space, still making time for your friends and other relationships. Get out of the house together, instead of staying cooped up. Also, have a separate study or work place where you can be alone every now and then.

2. Have a backup plan. It's not pessimistic to prepare for the worst case scenario. Rather than being homeless or stuck with someone you don't have feelings for anymore, leave yourself an out. Have some savings put away or have a contingency plan.

3. Integrate. If you are moving into his place and bringing all your stuff, you're going to need to figure out how to make it a shared space. It's unlikely that you need two coffee tables, two beds, two sofas and two TVS. You are both likely equally attached to your possessions, so work out a compromise.

Tips & Warnings

• Keep your relationship from getting routine by going out together (for reasons other than shopping).

• Be open with each other. Don't fume in silence and then blow up later.

• You are going to have disagreements. You are going to find things out about each other that you weren't aware of when you didn't cohabitate. Be sure you have healthy conflict resolutions.

• Don't move in for the wrong reasons.

• Be prepared for disapproval. Some people (friends, family, church members) do not approve of unmarried couples living together. Be patient. Usually, they have your best interests at heart. They may have some good general advice for you even if you have already made up your mind.