How to Come Out in Your Late 20s

Coming out as gay or lesbian is different when you're in your late 20s than it would be earlier - after all, you have an established identity and a circle of friends, lovers and family members who know and care for you as you are. It can be hard to rock the boat.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

1. Start out slowly. Get comfortable with your new identity. Think in terms of making friends rather than finding a lover. Hang out in gay-positive surroundings to stay upbeat.
2. Tell the easy people first - your most accepting friends, your favorite sibling. Think of this as practice for the more difficult ones ahead. Then give them time to adjust.
3. Look into short-term therapy if you're having problems dealing with any issues that are coming up for you.
4. Remember that there's no need to tell everyone you know. If there's someone you wouldn't confide in normally, don't start now. Gay people do need to be discreet in most areas of the country.
5. Be good to yourself and don't make any drastic changes. Continue all your usual activities, hobbies and sports.
6. Take time to rest, reflect and rejuvenate. You're going through a big transition; emotional growth can be very tiring.
7. Give yourself a lot of credit for not hiding or running. Risking rejection from family and friends is never easy. It often takes courage to be true to yourself.
8. Remember that this is a process and not a one-time event. A year down the road, you'll probably be amazed at how far you've come.

Tips & Warnings

• Enjoy yourself. Explore aspects of gay life that you're unfamiliar with, like movies, clubs, books, magazines and history.
• The Internet can be a great tool for finding local community groups, fun places to visit, books to read, etc.
• Be sociable and open to making new friends. This can be a truly fun and exciting time.
• Avoid overuse of alcohol and drugs during this time.
• Make sure you practice safe sex every time. Never go home with someone you've just met, unless your friends know the person well.
• Be cautious as you explore your new life. Get to know your local gay community so that you can recognize gay-friendly surroundings and people as well as the danger zones.