How to Create a Living-Together Contract in a Gay/Lesbian Relationship

Because same-sex marriages are not recognized in any state, gay and lesbian couples are not subject to the same set of state laws and rules governing a married couple's property rights. Follow these steps to create a legal document to help eliminate any ambiguity that may arise.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

1. Consider property clauses in your agreement. Take inventory of personal property owned before living together, property inherited or received as gifts during the relationship, and property bought jointly during the relationship.

2. Factor financial clauses into the equation. Determine how expenses will be handled during the relationship. Sharing all expenses equally and splitting expenses proportionally to income are both common methods of distribution.

3. Add a "cooling off" clause to your agreement. It can simply state that if one person wants to leave the relationship, he or she will agree to take some time to cool off before packing up and heading out. Possible provisions might call for a short vacation, time off from the relationship, or couples counseling.

4. Consider adding an arbitration and mediation clause to create alternatives to resolving possible conflict in a courtroom. Mediation is an informal process in which you, your partner and the mediator work together to reach a mutually satisfactory agreement. Arbitration empowers a person or organization to hear both partners' versions of a situation and make a final decision.

5. Feel free to modify your agreement as necessary. It can simply state that both parties agree to make a change and lay out the specifics of the change. Sign and date the changed agreement in writing, as most legal doctrines make oral modifications invalid.

Tips & Warnings

• If you do decide to add an arbitration and mediation clause to your contract, name your arbitrator in advance. Some organizations, such as the American Arbitration Association, will not accept a case unless they were named in the arbitration agreement. When creating contracts, always remember to be thorough.
• If you're making major changes to your original living-together contract, consider tearing up the old agreement and starting over again.
• Because discrimination exists today, it's generally safest not to make any references to sex in your agreement. Identify yourselves as "partners" rather than "lovers."