How to Deal With the Silent Treatment in a Relationship

The silent treatment can last for days in some scenarios.

The silent treatment can be one of the worst situations to deal with in a relationship. The silent treatment can be just as, if not more, damaging than actual words of anger and jealousy. The silent treatment can damage the connection you have with your partner and may even end the relationship. Repeated use of the silent treatment can be considered abusive. Effectively dealing with the silent treatment can prevent you from experiencing the negative emotions that are associated with it.

Instructions

1. Wait for the other person to cool down and begin speaking to you again. Some people do not want to say anything in anger that may hurt another person, so the silent treatment may actually be positive for your relationship. Allowing the person time to refocus will help the two of you to talk out your differences when the time is right.

2. Avoid repeatedly asking the person to talk to you. Since most silent treatment is about power and control, by asking the person to talk to you, you are giving that person the control in the relationship. This person is likely to keep the silent treatment going if he knows it is bothering you, or use it again in the future if you are fighting.

3. Spend some time away from the person who is giving you the silent treatment, especially if you are feeling emotionally drained from the lack of communication. Time away from the person who is giving you the silent treatment may make him realize how important the relationship is to him, prompting him to initiate speaking to you again.

4. Speak to the person giving you the silent treatment only when necessary, such as to discuss mutual work issues or your children. Be polite and do not start giving the silent treatment back in retaliation. Two wrongs don't make a right and if you both start giving each other the silent treatment, you might never speak again.

5. Be patient. Most people will not go long periods of time without speaking to the person they care about. Eventually the person you are feuding with will see the error of his ways and begin speaking to you again.

References

• Life and Therapy; Dealing With The Silent Treatment; Elyn Tromey, MA, LPC, ATR

Resources

• Anger Management Resources; The Silent Treatment; William DeFoore, Ph.D.