How to Explain to Your Boyfriend That You Don't Want to Move Too Fast
Falling in love involves feelings that make us literally giddy and dizzy with emotion. All too often, infatuation blinds us to our partners' flaws and can lead us to make hasty decisions that turn out badly for us. Move too fast and you can be stuck for many years in the wrong relationship. To avoid this, talk to your boyfriend about the pace of your relationship. Telling him you don't want to move too fast is your right. Even though it may be scary to start, a good relationship talk should only strengthen your relationship.
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Instructions
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Decide on your values before your first date with your boyfriend. Knowing your stand on how fast you want to move will make talking to your boyfriend easier. Think about your goals in life and where you picture yourself five and 10 years from now. Consider the traits that you want in a partner. Write them down if that helps and keep them in mind when accepting dates.
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Rehearse what you are going to say to your boyfriend. Practice makes talking less scary and helps you remember any important points you are going to make. Make sure to use "I" messages, such as "I need" or "I want." Keep your comments positive so that your boyfriend will know that you like him even though you don't want to move too fast.
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Pick a time when you and your boyfriend will be relaxed to have your talk. Timing is important to your boyfriend hearing what you have to say. You don't want to try to have a serious talk with your boyfriend when he is tired or under stress, or occupied with other things. Schedule the talk for a time when you won't become romantic, as you don't want to lead your boyfriend on. Of course, you should be in a private place where others can't overhear.
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Assert your needs but be kind. You have the right to tell your boyfriend you don't want to move too fast. State clearly how you want things to go. Do not point out faults -- focus on the subject at hand. A truly caring boyfriend will hear you out, consider your wishes and agree that you should not move too fast.
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End the talk on a positive note. While communication can sometimes be scary and difficult, your relationship with your boyfriend will be stronger for it. If your boyfriend responds in a positive way, hang on to him. If he responds in a negative way, rethink your relationship -- his priorities may be different than yours.
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