How to Make Small Talk

Small talk can be a big challenge, but a little preparation and confidence is all you need. As a skilled small talker you will come across as a more open and friendly person, compared to someone who doesn't say much during social situations. Just don't overdo it because then people will find you annoying and too chatty.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Practice. Converse with everyone you come across: cashiers, waiters, people you're in line with, neighbors, co-workers and kids. Chat with folks unlike yourself, from seniors to teens to tourists.

2. Read everything: cookbooks, newspapers, magazines, reviews, product inserts, maps, signs and catalogs. Everything is a source of information that can be discussed.

3. Force yourself to get into small talk situations, like doctors' waiting rooms, cocktail parties and office meetings. Accept invitations, or host your own gathering.

4. Immerse yourself in culture, both high and low. Television, music, sports, fashion, art and poetry are great sources of chat. If you can't stand Shakespeare, that too is a good topic for talk.

5. Keep a journal. Write down funny stories you hear, beautiful things you see, quotes, observations, shopping lists and calls you made. That story of the long-distance operator misunderstanding you could become an opening line.

6. Talk to yourself in the mirror. Make a random list of topics and see what you have to say on the subjects. Baseball, Russia, butter, hip-hop, shoes ...the more varied your list, the better.

7. Expand your horizons. Go home a new way. Try sushi. Play pinball. Go online. Paint a watercolor. Bake a pie. Try something new every day.

8. Be a better listener. Did your boss just say she suffers from migraines? Did your doctor just have twins? These are opportunities for making small talk.

9. Work on confidence, overcoming shyness and any feelings of stage fright. Remember, the more you know, the more you know you can talk about.

Tips & Warnings

• Be yourself. Keep in mind that confidence and humor are superb substitutes for comedic genius or wit.
• Remember, you never have to do it alone.
• Keep a few exit lines in mind too. For example, "Thanks for the wonderful chat, but I must make believe I'm interested in everybody else. Tee hee."
• Keep your fellow chatterers in mind; naughty stories and loose language will be frowned upon in many circles. By the same token, your French quips and scientific discourses will be wasted on some.

[omghow]

on 10/4/2009 Great advice. small talk is not as easy for most people. Thanks for your support.

[theindianabroad]

on 8/21/2009 Noce article. You may also be interested in this:
30 Tips on the art of small talk
http://www.theindiansabroad.com/2009/07/30-tips-on-the-art-of-small-talk/
thanks.

[acherryscott]

on 8/3/2009 this may also help. How to Understand A Black Woman
http://www.ehow.com/how_5252407_understand-black-woman.html

[STUFFellaneous]

on 3/11/2009 Great article! 5*s!

[sherryeam]

on 2/28/2009 I work on this all the time so this is a good article for me. I used to feel so uncomfortable in situations that called for small talk. Now I feel pretty good about it. Always nice to get more ideas.