How to Make Small Talk

By eHow Relationships & Family Editor

You don't have to chat up a storm, remember, it's just small talk You don't have to chat up a storm, remember, it's just small talk

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Small talk can be a big challenge, but a little preparation and confidence is all you need. As a skilled small talker you will come across as a more open and friendly person, compared to someone who doesn't say much during social situations. Just don't overdo it because then people will find you annoying and too chatty.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Step1
Practice. Converse with everyone you come across: cashiers, waiters, people you're in line with, neighbors, co-workers and kids. Chat with folks unlike yourself, from seniors to teens to tourists.
Step2
Read everything: cookbooks, newspapers, magazines, reviews, product inserts, maps, signs and catalogs. Everything is a source of information that can be discussed.
Step3
Force yourself to get into small talk situations, like doctors' waiting rooms, cocktail parties and office meetings. Accept invitations, or host your own gathering.
Step4
Immerse yourself in culture, both high and low. Television, music, sports, fashion, art and poetry are great sources of chat. If you can't stand Shakespeare, that too is a good topic for talk.
Step5
Keep a journal. Write down funny stories you hear, beautiful things you see, quotes, observations, shopping lists and calls you made. That story of the long-distance operator misunderstanding you could become an opening line.
Step6
Talk to yourself in the mirror. Make a random list of topics and see what you have to say on the subjects. Baseball, Russia, butter, hip-hop, shoes ...the more varied your list, the better.
Step7
Expand your horizons. Go home a new way. Try sushi. Play pinball. Go online. Paint a watercolor. Bake a pie. Try something new every day.
Step8
Be a better listener. Did your boss just say she suffers from migraines? Did your doctor just have twins? These are opportunities for making small talk.
Step9
Work on confidence, overcoming shyness and any feelings of stage fright. Remember, the more you know, the more you know you can talk about.

Tips & Warnings

  • Be yourself. Keep in mind that confidence and humor are superb substitutes for comedic genius or wit.
  • Remember, you never have to do it alone.
  • Keep a few exit lines in mind too. For example, "Thanks for the wonderful chat, but I must make believe I'm interested in everybody else. Tee hee."
  • Keep your fellow chatterers in mind; naughty stories and loose language will be frowned upon in many circles. By the same token, your French quips and scientific discourses will be wasted on some.

Comments

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Thims said

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on 7/26/2008 ...LOL! I guess I accidently hit the enter key too soon! How's that for something small talk about?!

Anyways, I would just add listen carefully to the person your speaking with and pay attention to not only them, but also be aware of what's going on around you. Listening well is just as, or in most cases can be more important than what you have to say.

Thims said

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on 7/26/2008 Small talk is all about being yourself. With the good advise Amanda has given I would just add

Zanny said

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on 7/18/2008 Suggestion? Copy conversations. I was never very good at conversations before; not becuase I was slow, or antisocial, or anything like that, but just because I wasn't a good conversationist. Turns out, I just needed practice, and I'm guessing you do too. Since it's tough to get practice without being confident about it and it's hard to be confident without practice, just copying conversations on TV or movies works well for a start. Myself, I practiced with stand-up comedy shows, and it worked great to get me going. ^_^

Innuendo said

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on 7/14/2008 Bigyance, you're not seeing the point. Not everyone is born a smooth talker. Many shy people (like me) need help opening up and start having fun at parties. It would help a lot being able to do this.

Innuendo said

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on 7/14/2008 Bigyance, you're not seeing the point. Not everyone is born a smooth talker. Many shy people (like me) need help opening up and start having fun at parties. It would help a lot being able to do this.

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eHow Article:  How to Make Small Talk

eHow Relationships & Family Editor

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