How to Make Small Talk

Small talk can be a big challenge, but a little preparation and confidence is all you need. As a skilled small talker you will come across as a more open and friendly person, compared to someone who doesn't say much during social situations. Just don't overdo it because then people will find you annoying and too chatty.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Practice. Converse with everyone you come across: cashiers, waiters, people you're in line with, neighbors, co-workers and kids. Chat with folks unlike yourself, from seniors to teens to tourists.

2. Read everything: cookbooks, newspapers, magazines, reviews, product inserts, maps, signs and catalogs. Everything is a source of information that can be discussed.

3. Force yourself to get into small talk situations, like doctors' waiting rooms, cocktail parties and office meetings. Accept invitations, or host your own gathering.

4. Immerse yourself in culture, both high and low. Television, music, sports, fashion, art and poetry are great sources of chat. If you can't stand Shakespeare, that too is a good topic for talk.

5. Keep a journal. Write down funny stories you hear, beautiful things you see, quotes, observations, shopping lists and calls you made. That story of the long-distance operator misunderstanding you could become an opening line.

6. Talk to yourself in the mirror. Make a random list of topics and see what you have to say on the subjects. Baseball, Russia, butter, hip-hop, shoes ...the more varied your list, the better.

7. Expand your horizons. Go home a new way. Try sushi. Play pinball. Go online. Paint a watercolor. Bake a pie. Try something new every day.

8. Be a better listener. Did your boss just say she suffers from migraines? Did your doctor just have twins? These are opportunities for making small talk.

9. Work on confidence, overcoming shyness and any feelings of stage fright. Remember, the more you know, the more you know you can talk about.

Tips & Warnings

• Be yourself. Keep in mind that confidence and humor are superb substitutes for comedic genius or wit.
• Remember, you never have to do it alone.
• Keep a few exit lines in mind too. For example, "Thanks for the wonderful chat, but I must make believe I'm interested in everybody else. Tee hee."
• Keep your fellow chatterers in mind; naughty stories and loose language will be frowned upon in many circles. By the same token, your French quips and scientific discourses will be wasted on some.

[STUFFellaneous]

on 3/11/2009 Great article! 5*s!

[sherryeam]

on 2/28/2009 I work on this all the time so this is a good article for me. I used to feel so uncomfortable in situations that called for small talk. Now I feel pretty good about it. Always nice to get more ideas.

[eastcoasttravel]

on 2/25/2009 I used to be horrible at small talk. Where do you start? Who do you approach? I can't say I'm an expert at this point, but a good place to start a conversation is in the context of where you are, like the airport or doctor's office. "Hi, I came here because my friend/brother/neighbor recommended this doctor. What do you think?" works wonders. Why? You're asking someone for their opinion. Most EVERYONE, if they are in the least bit willing to talk, will offer their opinion. This helps you in two ways: 1) you don't have to know any details about the topic, and, 2) you can listen to what they say for clues on where to go next in the conversation. Of course, as noted elsewhere, if you get a short, "I don't know" or nothing, then they are either uninterested in talking OR they might not really know. You could follow up their short answer with, "I don't mean to pry, but why did you

[jennen]

on 2/7/2009 Compliments always work, compliment hairstyles, shoes, cologne what ever stands out about a person at that very moment... good article will keep 5**

[juanabgood]

on 1/7/2009 The tricky thing is knowing how much to say-- knowing when to shut up is really tricky. The other thing is knowing how to get the other person to participate without seeming nosy.