How to Make Peace When Someone Won't Talk to You

You can't force someone to accept your apology.

Not everyone practices forgiveness. If you've tried to make amends but you're still getting the silent treatment, realize you've done all you can do. Just because the person you've offended won't speak to you is no reason for you to walk around with your head hanging down. Forgive yourself, learn from your mistake and make better choices next time. Perhaps the other person just needs a little time; keep your heart open in case she decides to come around.

Instructions

1. Accept what cannot be changed. Peace will elude you if you spend internal and external energy attempting to change what someone else thinks and feels. The only person you have control over is you. Recognize that you can't deal with a situation until you honest acknowledge it for what it is.

2. Give yourself time to grieve. It hurts to be ignored, especially when you're trying to make amends. It hurts even more if the person ignoring you is someone you love and miss spending time with. Don't let your pride overshadow your true feelings; you can't deal with emotions that you don't allow to surface. Feel the fullness of your pain so the healing can begin.

3. Determine to dwell on the positive, and search for a valuable lesson. Ask yourself, "What am I currently learning that I couldn't learn any other way?" Take a moment to appreciate the situation -- no matter how painful -- for bringing insight you wouldn't otherwise have.

4. Grant yourself permission to honor your feelings, regardless of how the other person feels about you. It might feel contradictory to feel love towards someone who refuses to talk to you, but stand in your own truth. You don't have to be angry with him just because he's angry with you. In addition, keeping your heart open will help improve the relationship between you and the other people in your life.

5. Write a letter to gain closure. Even if you don't send it, allow yourself to vent everything the person not speaking to you won't allow you to say.

6. Recognize that the person not talking to you is acting that way because of who he is, not because of who you are. He is someone who isn't willing to speak. That doesn't mean you're someone who doesn't deserve being spoken to. Don't internalize any negative opinions about yourself.

References

• Mayo Clinic; Forgiveness- Letting go of grudges and bitterness; November 2009
• Success Consciousness; Peace of Mind Tips and Advice; Remez Sasson
• Bethel Church of God: Getting Along With People