- The purpose of marriage counseling is to help those couples experiencing difficulties understand and resolve their conflicts. A licensed therapist works with couples to give them the tools they need to communicate more effectively with each other so that they can negotiate their differences and solve their problems. While in counseling, couples work toward improving their relationships, particularly during crisis situations. Depending on to what degree a couple's relationship has deteriorated, marriage counseling may require only a few sessions, or meeting with the therapist at least once each week for several months of counseling. But no matter how often the sessions, the goal is to bring couples together for joint therapy, at which time each partner is given the opportunity to analyze the relationship in an attempt to identify the source(s) of conflicts.
- It never is easy for couples to talk about their problems--not to each other, and not in the presence of others. However, under the guidance of a trained therapist who acts as a mediator, partners can come to understand their differences, which may lead them to being able to compromise and solve their problems in a practical manner. A key role of the marriage counselor is to attempt to facilitate better communication between partners, encouraging couples to discuss their differences with each other honestly, yet rationally. While the counselor may act as a referee when helping couples sort through their emotions, he may never take sides in a couple's disputes.
- A marriage counselor should be a licensed mental health professional, who specializes in marriage and/or family counseling. Although licensing requirements can vary by state, a couple should look for a marriage counselor or family therapist credentialed by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT). In most states, therapists are required to have a master's or doctoral degree, as well as a period of advanced training under the supervision of other experts in the same field.
- Effective marriage counseling includes finding the right therapist. Both you and your partner need to work with someone with whom you feel comfortable. However, even the best therapist cannot cure the ills of the marriage; therefore, spouses must be willing to explore issues they might have been avoiding for a long time. No matter how serious the problems between you, participating in marriage counseling shows that you still take your relationship seriously and are seeking help to try to resolve the issues, which might be isolating you. While in counseling, couples often get along better at home because they know that they will have an opportunity to air their grievances in counseling. Counseling also gives couples the chance not only to examine the bad aspects of the relationship, but to rediscover the good things as well.
