Marriage Problems Due to Substance Abuse
Substance abuse in a marriage is like throwing a pebble in a pond because of its ripple effect. Other than the abuser, the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy states that the person who often pays the greatest price in this situation is the spouse. The cost of substance abuse is more than financial as couples in relationships in which a partner abuses drugs and/or alcohol are generally less happy than other couples with marital problems.
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Background
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The National Healthy Marriage Resource Center states that the 2004 National Survey on Drug Use and Health found that about 3.8 million people are treated for substance-abuse problems in the United States during the course of a year. Approximately 16 percent of those surveyed said they were binge drinkers, and 9 percent qualified as having a dependency on chemical substances.
Expert Insight
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Married couples have lower incidents of substance abuse than their non-married counterparts, according to the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center. It states that substance abuse occurs more when a spouse is dissatisfied with the marriage. Substance abuse can cause a partner to fail to fulfill legal obligations, like driving while under the influence, as well as obligations at work or home. When an individual abuses a substance, he tends to withdraw from others, not socialize as much and have problems at work or with peers and will continue to use even though he knows he has a problem. The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy states that a marriage only can survive substance abuse when the abuser decides to receive help for the sake of his marriage and health. Rarely does substance abuse resolve itself with time.
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Effects of Substance Abuse in Marriages
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When substance abuse is an issue in a marriage, the couple tends to have many arguments related to a spouse's use of alcohol and/or drugs, spending habits, staying out late, not being in the home or not taking care of responsibilities. On several occasions, according to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, a partner feels like he have to cover for his substance-abusing spouse if she neglects a responsibility, like going to work. For example, a husband may find herself telling his wife's boss that she is sick when, in reality, the wife it too intoxicated to go to work. Domestic violence is linked to substance abuse in marriages. Alternatively, substance abuse in a marriage may be a problem when a couple reports using drugs or alcohol is one of the few activities they like to do together and/or the only way they can show affection towards each other. Substance abuse in a marriage reduces the amount of satisfaction in a relationship, which often leads to divorce, according to the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center.
Enabling Behaviors
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Enablers are individuals who aid or abet addictive behavior, according to the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center. As a result, this behavior is deemed pathological and leads to co-dependency. Individuals may act as enablers as a way to cope with the decline of their marriages. Enabling behaviors include making excuses for the abuser, bailing him out of jail, accepting the abuser's excuses and lies, ignoring problems caused by the abuser's substance use and not getting professional help.
Professional Help
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There are many different treatment programs available that can help reduce or eliminate marriage problems due to substance abuse. Such programs include individual or marriage counseling, group counseling or support groups. The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy states that treatment only works if the person abusing substances wants help and is willing to participate in treatment programs.
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References
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