Etiquette for Italian Weddings
When planning a wedding, many couples want to organize the ceremony with family traditions and ethnic customs in mind. Individuals who are of Italian heritage should be aware of the etiquette associated with Italian weddings in order to make the event especially sentimental.
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Before the Ceremony
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Although in many cultures the groom is already present at the church waiting for the bride to arrive, in the Veneto region of Italy, the groom traditionally walks the bride, along with the entire wedding party, to the church so that the ceremony can begin. Traditionally, a number of challenges are placed in the couple's way on the way to the wedding site in order to help the couple do some last minute preparation for marriage. For instance, neighbors may lay a broom in the street where the wedding party is walking; if the bride notices it and picks it up, this shows that she will be a good housewife. Or, if the couple encounter a crying baby, they must do their best to cheer the child up, which proves that the pair will likely be nurturing parents. Once the couple arrives at the church, Italian wedding etiquette indicates that a ribbon should be placed on the church door to represent the joining of the two lives.
The Groom
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It is customary for Italian grooms to carry a small piece of iron in their suit pockets on the wedding day to fend off the evil eye and keep negative spirits away from the ceremony and the marriage. In some regions of Italy, it is also acceptable for the groom to wait outside the church for the bride to arrive and present her with a bouquet of flowers before the couple walks into the church together.
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The Bride
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It is customary for Italian brides to wear veils for the same reason that the groom carries the iron scrap--to ward off any evil spirits that may try to ruin the marriage. The veil is also worn so that the groom will not be able to clearly see the bride's face until the couple is officially husband and wife. Small tears in the veil are also said to bring good luck, which is why some Italian-American brides choose modern veil styles with separated fabric.
After the Ceremony
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Etiquette for Italian weddings suggests that doves can be released after the ceremony as a symbol of eternal love. The car that the couple drives away from the church in can be heavily decorated with flowers, and the guests can shower the bride and groom with confetti as they walk toward the car. In ancient Rome, wedding guests threw grain and nuts toward the couple to wish them health and long life, and this is still practiced at some modern Italian weddings.
The Reception
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Food is the central focus of Italian wedding receptions, as families try to make the number of food selections as abundant as possible. Everyone who attended the wedding ceremony is usually invited to the reception as well, and the crowd is often fairly large. Twisted dough made with sugar, called wanda, is prepared to symbolize the union between man and wife; the wanda are often placed on a table with other desserts, and the bride and groom lead a line dance so that reception guests can begin to pick up cookies from the table. Italian wedding candy, which is also called 'confetti,' is usually almonds covered in a candy coating; guests are often given a set of five almonds to represent the five wishes for the bride and groom: longevity, happiness, wealth, health, and fertility. The bride also carries a small satin purse for guests to put money in during the dancing portion of the reception. The funds are given as 'seed money' to help the bride and groom start their new life together, and the purse is often looked after by an older family during the remainder of the reception for safekeeping.
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