How to Help an Alcoholic Spouse

Alcohol affects every situation differently. Marriages that involve one alcoholic spouse usually end in divorce because of abuse, poor communication skills and unwanted marital distress. Helping an alcoholic spouse can be a challenging and heartrending task. However, it can be done if the alcoholic is willing to listen and if the situation is carefully approached.

Understanding Alcoholism

Understand alcoholism. It may be difficult to help an alcoholic spouse if you do not comprehend the meaning of addiction. Check out and read books on alcoholism at the local library or bookstore. Approaching a situation uniquely and realizing that you are not going to be able to heal the alcoholic may be the first step in helping both you and your spouse. You can and will not be able to fix the person, only offer your support.

Control Emotions

Control your emotions and learn how to deal with certain situations. Attend local Al-Anon meetings regularly. These meetings are listed in local newspapers and are designed for those who are seeking help on dealing with a loved one who is an alcoholic. Others who live with an alcoholic spouse may be able to offer some insight on approaches to situations that may help you. Help yourself first and then you will be able to assist and understand the alcoholic.

Set Boundaries

Set boundaries with the alcoholic spouse. Be sure it is clear that you will not be around them if they are drinking alcohol. You do not want to see the person drinking, nor do you want to be around the alcoholic the next day when they are nursing a hangover or complaining of alcohol consumed the night before. If children are involved, be sure the spouse understands that they will not be around as well.

Help and Support

Be helpful and supportive. It is probably best that you do not constantly nag the spouse to stop drinking. The alcoholic will only stop drinking when he wants to not because you want him to. For those who are not an alcoholic, it is sometimes difficult to fully grasp the concept that alcoholism is a disease. Offer support and encourage the spouse to attend an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting that is offered at a nearby location.

Detaching

Practice detaching from the situation. Do not take care of the alcoholic's financial affairs. If the spouse causes unwanted attention, do not make excuses to others for fear of embarrassment. It is only normal to cover up another person's mistakes, especially those of an alcoholic spouse. However, covering up and taking care of their business, will only enable them to drink more and will teach them that they are not responsible for their own actions.

References

• Al-Anon
• Helping An Alcoholic Spouse
• Alcoholics Anonymous