What Is a Calling Card?

In the 19th century, middle- and upper-class ladies and gentlemen used calling cards to formally introduce themselves. They were about the size of a modern-day business card but contained only the individual's name. Elaborate rituals in calling card etiquette evolved in the Victorian era. The calling card itself provided a way for socialites to screen their visitors, since the exchange was always handled through the servants.

What is Calling?

In Victorian society, the custom of calling is comparable to visiting someone at home today. Ladies would spend an entire afternoon calling on one another. If the lady was not at home, a calling card would serve as proof that you had called on her.

Calling Card Trays

The calling card tray was a fixture in the middle- and upper-class Victorian home. When the servant answered the door, the visitor would present his card for examination. If the person was not home, the servant would place the card in a small tray. It was considered inappropriate for a visitor to flip through the stack of cards in the tray. Such an act would be the equivalent of reading a personal letter or diary.

Returning a Call

If someone called on you and left their card, it was expected that you would return the call within one week. Calling on someone was not necessarily a lengthy affair. A proper visit was usually less than 30 minutes, during which time you would engage in light pleasantries. With a closer friend, you might stay longer, perhaps taking tea or some other refreshment. Women in large social circles could spend the entire afternoon "calling" on their friends, one after another, with no time to actually sit down and truly visit with them.

Calling Card Etiquette

Victorians believed French was the ultimate refined and elegant language. Messages left on calling cards were usually initials for French phrases. For example, if you wrote "p.f." in the corner of your card, it stood for "pour feliciter" or congratulations. To wish someone a Happy New Year, you would write "p.f.N.A." for "pour feliciter Nouvel An." Folding a corner of the card could also express a message. Sometimes French phrases were printed on the back of the card so when a corner was folded down, a message was visible on the front. A woman in mourning would have a single black line printed around the edge of her card to indicate her status as a widow.

Calling Card Cases

To keep her calling cards pristine, a Victorian lady needed a calling card case. These cases were made from many different materials, including sterling silver, ivory and papier mache. Antique calling card cases are a collectible item today.

When to Call?

Calling cards sometimes listed the days and times when the person was "at home," meaning she was available to greet visitors. Formal calls for special occasions such as a birth or marriage were expected within a week of the event. No one called on Sundays, which was traditionally a day for visiting with close friends and family.