First Year of Marriage Problems

The first year of marriage is frequently thought of as the hardest year. Two people are blending their lives together and this inevitably comes with conflict. There are many common problems that newlyweds face. Discussing these subjects openly before the wedding day can help smooth the transition, as can a good sense of humor later.

  1. Roles

    • Many couples do not sit down before they are married and discuss who will be taking on which roles in the home and marriage. This can especially become a problem for couples that have not lived together. Who will cook dinner? Who will be responsible for paying the bills? How will household chores be divided? Assuming that your partner will be taking care of specific tasks may set you up for problems later on.

    Money

    • Money is the single largest cause of turmoil in a marriage. Discussing financial priorities and making a plan can help avoid this problem. Think about joint expenses plus your own personal ones. Are you going to keep some money separate to pay for these or will all your finances be combined? Will this cause problems when one partner wants to make a purchase that the other does not agree with?

    Sex

    • After money, sex is one of the other top problems that can affect a new marriage. For many new couples, the honeymoon stage wears off quickly and the stresses of daily life can interfere with sexual desire. While it may seem unromantic to negotiate sex, having an open discussion about needs and preferences can allow the couple to understand how to fulfill each other's desires. An unhappy sex life can trickle out into other areas of the relationship.

    Children

    • Most couples have a rudimentary discussion about whether they want children or not at some point before tying the knot. However, do you really know what your partner expects in this area? How many children will you have? How long will you wait before trying to conceive? Will one partner sacrifice their career ambitions to raise the children? What kind of parents do you want to be? Even if two people have agreed they want to have children, there are still many decisions that can cause problems after marriage.

    In-Laws

    • Not only are you legally binding yourself to your new spouse, but you are becoming a member of their family. Extended families can be a wonderful support system. They can also cause stress and anxiety, especially if you don't get along with one of your new in-laws. Some parents may find it difficult to let go of their newly married children. In the first year of marriage, these interferences can end up being resented. Calmly discuss the involvement of your in-laws in your life with your spouse.

    Romance

    • Many couples stop dating once they get married. Both men and women complain that their partner does not seem to pay attention to the relationship the way they did when they were pursuing the other person. The romance and fun that they once had together becomes a second priority as daily stress enters their relationship. In the first year of marriage, it is critical to take the time to go out together and enjoy the things that you did while you were dating.

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