About Family Feuds

Who doesn't remember the story of the Hatfields and the McCoys? While most family feuds never escalate to anything quite like these infamous families, such feuds do take place, and family members suffer in a variety of ways. In the twentieth century some family feuds among Mafia families resulted in brutal murders and threats of retaliation.

While it is highly unlikely that a longstanding feud about Aunt Harriet's engagement ring being passed on to her son's wife will result in a murder....it may in fact have adverse effects on the family as a whole.

Family feuds are nothing new, as you can plainly see from the historical references made here. The repercussions and psychological significance, however, may be more than you ever realized.

History

The Hatfields and the McCoys. The Mafia. James Brown. What do they all have in common? All were involved in serious, lomg-lasting family feuds. Most people are familiar with the Hatfields and McCoys, and know that their feud actually lasted for generations. And through films like "The Godfather," most are familiar with the type of family feuds experienced by the Mafia. But how exactly does James Brown fit into the equation?

James Brown passed away on Christmas Day in 2006. He had been living with a woman named Tomi Ray Hynie, who claimed to have been his wife. She was still legally married to another man from her past, possibly nullifying her marriage to Brown. According to Brown's will, however, no provisions were ever left for Hynie and a son she claimed Brown fathered. The feud with the heirs to Brown's estate has escalated to the point that his body hasn't even been placed in its final resting place, but instead has been put into a crypt at one of his daughter's homes until the case has been decided.

Significance

Human beings are mammals. A report by "Science Daily" maintains that mammals cannot share their habitats with closely related species because they will eventually fight to the death over food and shelter. Certainly (and thankfully) not all family feuds fight to the death, but does this scientific research tell us something about people with regard to family feuds? Psychologists and sociologists believe it to be something called relational aggression instead, and make note of events like returning home for the holidays as an event where many such feuds begin or escalate.

Types

Dr. Cheryl Dellasega is a professor of women's studies and humanities at Penn State's College of Medicine. She has researched relationship issues and relational aggression, and has observed such escalations on behalf of close family members. According to Dr. Dellasega, family members return home expecting to be loved unconditionally. Unfortunately the human mind harbors grudges, and people indulge in unsavory practices like gossip, exclusion and other hurtful behaviors. These acts cause others to become defensive and the rest is history. Whether it lasts a week or a lifetime, these people have unwittingly engaged in the components that lead to a family feud. Some examples of scenarios leading to such feuds include a meddling aunt who can't quite fathom why your daughter is engaged to that "loser," or a sister-in-law who is convinced (and likes to brag about) the notion that her husband makes more money than yours and her children are undoubtedly far more intelligent.

Considerations

A sociological trait people inherently work toward is known by experts as "kin keeping." This means that no matter what the source of topic of the family feud may be, most people are dedicated to maintaining these family ties--at all cost. In most cases this is workable, as the cause for the feud involves gossip or seemingly trivial incidents or conversations. Sometimes, however, when more serious causes are involved, like infidelity, theft, drugs or excessive money, the feud may escalate to violence. It's imperative in such situations to seek the advice of professionals, usually psychologists or social workers, to prevent the feud from taking on physical forms.

Theories/Speculation

Mental health researchers Steven Platek and Shelly Kemp have devised their own theory with regard to family feuds. They feel it is part of the brain's chemistry and have investigated the claim with MRIs of the brain. After studying the brain activity of people recently spending time with family members verus those spending time with friends of acquaintances, they determined that the human brain ranks people socially, and families rank highest. They believe this is why family members can raise our ire or "get our goat" faster and more frequently than other people can. Their study also concluded that we store images of our family members in our brains, which may lead to further aggravation, as we may see the family likeness and be reminded of our own foibles in addition to theirs.

Potential

While family feuds definitely have the fuel needed to escalate way out of control, thus taking on their own physical repercussions, we as human beings certainly have the ability to keep such situations under control. If calling in experts to counsel the members involved in the feud isn't a consideration, the practice of avoidance or self-restraint typically takes place. Family feuds are part of the history of mankind, but needn't be part of your family's history. With recent research and the ability to educate oneself on the hows and whys of such altercations, sane and reasonable human beings will avoid such situations. And the rest? Well, we'll just have to wait and see if history does in fact repeat itself.

Resources

• Science Daily website