About Trust

Trust is a necessary component of any healthy relationship. It can be difficult to trust others when you have been hurt or betrayed in the past. It takes time to heal and reach a level of comfort where you can once again trust people. Once you have betrayed someone's trust, it can take a long time to earn it back again.

Features

Trust is being able to rely on someone and having confidence in the character of that person. Trust is not an automatic response, and doesn't "just happen." Trust builds and grows over time. We learn to trust someone when the person proves to be honorable in character and dependable in action. A trustworthy person will keep promises, stick to his word and not betray a confidence.

Types

There are different levels of trust. For instance, you may trust your co-workers to an extent, but you trust your parents and your spouse more. You may feel comfortable associating with your neighbors, but you can completely be yourself around your family members without fearing what they will think of you. You can display your worst shortcomings in front of your best friend and she will still be your best friend. Many factors influence the level of trust in relationships. Those factors depend on the type of relationship, the length of time you have known the person and the previous actions of the individual. It can also depend on your own trust issues, such as insecurity or low self-esteem.

Significance

People who suffer from low self-esteem often have difficulty trusting others because they lack trust in themselves. They doubt their own abilities and decisions. Their insecurity can lead to trust issues. For example, if a very insecure woman finds that a sexy, charming man is attracted to her she may wonder why. She may even become suspicious of his motives because she doesn't have any confidence in herself. She doesn't think she is attractive or interesting enough to draw this man's attention. If she dares to become involved in a relationship with him, she may imagine that he is going to cheat on her even though he has done nothing to warrant her suspicions. Lack of self-esteem can cause her to doubt the sincerity of her partner. Insecurity can be the source of trust issues in relationships.

Considerations

It can be difficult to trust once you've been hurt. People who have had bad relationships are often reluctant to become intimately involved again. They are afraid to trust someone new for fear of being hurt or rejected. A person that has been betrayed by a friend often has difficulty forming new friendships. He may be viewed as shy, cold or distant because he keeps his guard up most of the time. If you trust your best friend with a secret and then she tells someone else, you'll find it hard to confide in anyone again for fear that the same thing will happen. If a friend breaks a confidence, it is likely to end the friendship. When people have been let down by someone they trusted and cared about, they may build a wall around themselves and not let anyone get close to them emotionally. It can be difficult to break down the emotional barrier they have built.

Effects

Lack of trust is one of the main problems in romantic relationships. It often results from infidelity or some other type of indiscretion. Being unfaithful to one's spouse can destroy years of trust. If the relationship is to survive, you will need to earn the trust of your spouse. People need time to forgive and heal from such an emotionally painful betrayal as infidelity. It can take months or even years before a person is able to fully trust his significant other again.
A person who has suffered a traumatic experience such as rape or abuse as a child may have difficulty trusting people in general. Victims of rape or children that have been sexually assaulted by their father or a male family member may experience much difficulty in developing a lasting relationship because they are afraid to trust. People who have experienced such ordeals often suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder and may need counseling to help overcome their trust issues. Although time does help the healing process, some emotional trauma can be so deeply entrenched in the psyche that the emotional pain and fear lasts long after the physical trauma has healed. In these cases, it can help to have someone objective and detached to talk to, such as a psychologist who can help the traumatized person through the healing process.

Prevention/Solution

It is important to remember that trust must be earned. We all make mistakes, but a trustworthy person will not continue to make empty promises or betray a confidence with disregard to the other person's feelings. Just as some people are not eager to trust, there are those that are too trusting, and are often hurt but the betrayal of that trust.
There are times when we trust those who do not deserve our trust, but it is not always easy to know who to trust. if we never trust anyone, we will miss out on the opportunity to bring wonderful, loving people into our circle of life. We can only do our best to earn the trust of others and learn from our experiences. Learning to forgive past transgressions and accepting each individual for the person she is can go a long way in resolving trust issues. Trust is the foundation of any and all healthy, lasting relationships.

Resources

• Coping.org
• The-Intimate-Couple.com
• MySelfDevelopment. net