Common Reasons for Divorce
The strength of a marriage is directly related to its resiliency. Divorces come about for a number of reasons. Causes can be attributed to one or both parties. Isolated instances may damage or break the bond of marriage, whereas repeated instances can slowly chip away at a marriage until it crumbles. Sustaining a marriage requires trust, honesty, respect, patience, communication and sacrifice. When any of these are lacking or missing for a marriage, that marriage is in jeopardy of failing.
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Types
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In terms of the law, there are two types of divorce: fault and no-fault. Each state follows one or the other. In states with fault, the division of assets is less favorable to the person who is to blame for the divorce. Courts consider adultery, abandonment, deception and physical or emotional cruelty as valid grounds for fault divorce. States with no-fault do not consider who caused the divorce. Therefore, the division of assets is not affected by blame. Divorce can either be contested or non-contested. Contested divorce exists when one person wants a divorce and the other does not. Non-contested divorce is when both parties are in agreement to go ahead with the divorce.
Function
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Although affairs are commonly associated with divorce, this is not always the case. Difficulty communicating and differences in expectations of each other and the marriage itself are common. Physical, sexual or emotional violence may lead to divorce. Instances of domestic violence can lead to arrests or confinement in addition to divorce. Also, addictive behaviors such as gambling or drug and alcohol use can cause a marriage to end. Financial reasons for divorce may include such things as bankruptcy or disagreements in the allocation of money. If your spouse's life is changed due to a serious mental illness or incarceration, these are also legitimate reasons for divorce. Sometimes there is no definitive cause for a divorce; couples may genuinely grow apart or fall apart. The reason given for these divorces is "irreconcilable differences."
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Effects
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Divorce can have disastrous effects on all involved. Divorces caused by the inability to compromise or resolve disputes make for particularly difficult divorces. When children are involved, the matter is considerably worse. The ending of a marriage results in the division of everything from money to spending time with the kids. In contested divorces, the emotional damage may be too much for the couple or children to bear and psychological help may be required. For example, when the cause of the divorce is due to a lack of commitment or a lack of sex, this can leave a person feeling insecure or unattractive.
Prevention/Solution
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Generally speaking, divorces are caused by unmet physical or emotional needs. Therefore, the most effective preventive measure against divorce is a strong marriage. Marriages should be based on relationships that are intimate, monogamous and supportive. The ability to talk openly and honestly to each other about anything is helpful in preventing problems from occurring. When communication becomes problematic, marriage and individual counseling should be considered. Also, it is important to address your feelings with your partner as they occur. If you feel your needs are not being met or you think your partner feels this way, it is better to ask than let such ideas fester.
Considerations
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Marriage should be thoroughly considered before being entered into. Being aware of the expectations each of you have regarding marriage is important. For example, it should be clear if one or both partners are expected to hold a job, raise the children and maintain the household. Before making or accepting a marriage proposal, one should always remember that what you see is what you get. In other words, if there are aspects of a relationship that are cause for concern prior to marriage, do not expect these things to change once you are married. Also, consider your relationship with the family that you are marrying into. Family members, especially in-laws, tend to have many opinions in such things as child rearing and home improvements and are not afraid to share them.
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