How to Speak Pirate on International Talk Like a Pirate Day or Any Day

Talk like a pirate, walk like a pirate, drink like a pirate! September 19 is International Talk like a Pirate Day! If you want to go sword to sword with the most ornery of Somali pirates you better know the lingo. According to CNN the holiday has been observed on all seven continents – and across the high seas. The day gives normally buttoned up types the free reign to don puffy shirts and eye patches as they head out to hoist a pint of ale or steer their own jolly roger to work.

Only those with the blackest of hearts could pass up a holiday that breeds raucousness and gives license to childish make-believe. To make the most of this under-appreciated holiday, keep reading to learn how to talk like a pirate.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Imagination
• Colorful vocabulary
• A pirate within

1. 
   Do you know your pirate name?

   Determine your pirate name. You can do this by adding an ol’ to your father’s middle name followed by the city where your mom’s father either lives or was buried.

2. 
   Pirates rely on their sea legs.

   Describe those who dismiss your seaward longings as “Landlubbers.” The phrase derives from the Latin “lubber” meaning clumsy or uncoordinated, not the Anglo term “land lover”.

3. Order friends and coworkers: "Avast Ye!" If they speak pirate they’ll know you want them to stop what they’re doing and give you their full attention.

4. Freelancers may call themselves pirates without caveat, for the original pirates were essentially seamen for hire. In pirate speak this meant “to go to account.” If you need a freelancer consider posting a job description on Craigslist or monster with a title like this: “Seeking Pirate for Short-term Gig”, you never know who’d be willing to shiver your timbers for the right booty.

5. 
   Pirates sometimes show mercy.

   Offer “quarter” when you’re feeling benevolent. Pirates occasionally offered their captives “quarter”, providing shelter and mercy.

6. Say, “Let’s splice the mainbrace,” when you want a drink.

7. Refer to your friends and coworkers attire as “long clothes.” Pirates deem loose garments inappropriate for wearing on the ship; they get in the way of the riggings and if tangled could end up costing a pirate his life. For pirates long clothes were garb more suited to style to land than sea.

8. Ask, “Mind if I slip my monkey pump in your bunghole,” if you want to steal a sip of someone’s drink with your straw.

9. Threaten to “keel hull” someone you intend to punish. Pirates would “keel hull” adversaries or disobedient shipmates by tying the mate up, tossing him over and dragging him beneath the keel (bottom) of the ship. Cheers matie!

Tips & Warnings

• Throw in an ayrr, wench or cheers to add emphasis to any statement.
• Somali pirates might not speak to you, even if you use the lingo.

Resources

• Pirate Names
• Pirates magzine

[missnye]

on 11/8/2009 I loved this!

[Omegaman]

on 9/24/2009 Arrrr! One might think you a bit green, if pirates "keelhaul" or "keel haul", not "keel hull". Oh, and jesusremnant, it be "hearties", not "harties. Landlubbers - Blast!

[respectfully]

on 9/23/2009 great article! It was fun to read and enjoyable to see the pictures. 5* R congradulations!

[Magentaslb]

on 9/21/2009 Saying "Mind if I slip my monkey pump in your bunghole” to the wrong person may get you slapped, haha. 5*s

[jwerner]

on 9/21/2009 Aye to buzzard33's comments. I'll be speakin' the lingo when skirting the jib and hoisting th spinnaker. No walkin' the plank for this matey.