How to Make Sensible New Year's Resolutions

Every year people go on the same rollercoaster of making ambitious New Year's resolutions -- and then fail miserably. Instead of setting yourself up for failure, why not work out resolutions you know you'll be able to keep?

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Time
• Notebook and pen or file in your computer

1. List all of the resolutions you would like to make, all the goals that you want to achieve in 2009. Do you want to lose weight? Quit smoking? Spend less? Keep your home cleaner? Spend more time with your family? Finish a major project? List everything that comes to mind. You need this list in order to filter it for what's feasible or not. Don't show this list to anyone.

2. Cross off anything you don't actually want to do, but are putting on the list because other people pushed you into it. If your heart isn't in it, your heart isn't in it. When you disagree with a resolution, strike it right off the list. These are supposed to be fun, after all.

3. Cross off any goal that relies on someone else making a decision or doing something. One of my perennials was "Sell a pro novel this year." I've changed it to "Submit at least one pro novel for publication." If I get it out the door, then I've fulfilled my goal. If I do it every year, eventually an editor will buy one. Define your goals in terms of things that you can do without relying on other people's actions.

4. Strike off anything that would probably take more than a year to finish. Or amend it to "Make progress on..." if it's a project that's important to you. "Remodel the house" may not be feasible during 2009, but making progress on remodeling the house is a lot more possible!

5. Look at goals that may be contradictory because each of them takes massive effort, will power and concentration. If you want to lose weight, work out, quit smoking, eat healthier, stop drinking, spend less and get up early every morning, you probably won't succeed at all of them. Trying all of them at once is going to be overwhelming -- it might last a week or two and then giving up one makes it easier to give up on the rest. Pick just one to have top priority and save the rest for another year.

6. If the goal you choose for your main priority is "Lose weight" or "Stop smoking" or anything that involves giving up something you enjoy -- find something else you enjoy and make a resolution to add it. My daughter is quitting smoking, and it's working this time. She added "knit more" at exactly the same time and I've got a great vest, my son in law and grandson have cool sweaters, she's doing all kinds of projects and enjoying the knitting to have something to do with her hands. You'd save money by eating or smoking or whatever less, so rebudget some of that for something healthy that you like and don't always indulge -- books, hobbies, movie rentals.

7. Break down larger goals into smaller ones, especially if you want to have a fairly long list. Maybe instead of "keep the house spotless" you want to separate that into "do laundry regularly," "pick up things daily" and "do a good spring cleaning this year." Even if you break it up into fifteen different things, you stand a better chance of succeeding at some of them.

8. One goal to add along with the others is very important -- "Spend some time working on time management and planning." If you plan for anything, work out how long it'll take and then multiply it by at least three. That's how long things really take when interruptions, other people's interference and random flu or other life events interfere. If you achieve anything early -- then you get points for doing it early!

9. Don't forget to add a goal that brings more pleasure into your life. Resolutions are not all about grimly improving yourself or working harder or doing without rewards. Make sure one goal is something like "Take more time to enjoy my hobbies" or "Allow myself some time on weekends to just relax." If you pace yourself and work relaxation and spontaneity right into your goals, you are much more likely to achieve all the rest of them! It can be as simple as "Reward myself for achieving progress on my goals."

10. Add a goal that's taking up a new activity or hobby that you always wanted to do. This is related to the previous step. Phrase it that you want to start doing it, not that you expect to become an expert immediately. Learning something new can be enjoyable when it's something you always wanted to do well.

Tips & Warnings

• Keep your resolutions simple.
• Include at least one silly one that's a definite win, something like "I resolve not to eat porcupines during 2009 at all." Make sure it can be accomplished without going out of your way to do it or not do it as the case may be.
• Be realistic about habits changes. If you've tried to change a habit repeatedly, look at why you haven't been able to change it. You may have to back up to something like "Find a new way to try to lose weight in 2009."
• Use words like "progress," or "improve" rather than all-or-nothing descriptions for the things you want to accomplish.
• Always set them in terms of what you can do rather than dependent on what other people do. "Be kinder to my spouse" is doable. "Stop fighting with my spouse" is exaggerated and impossible if your spouse continually starts fights.
• Don't overwhelm yourself with too many difficult goals or set impossible standards for completion. If you try all year to quit smoking and only succeed during next December, you won it, you succeeded. Habits are sometimes very hard to change.
• Don't set goals that are so far beyond your abilities you can't do them in a year. Something like "Learn more about gardening and try to grow some of our own food" is much more realistic than "Keep my yard perfect and grow all our own food in 2009" unless you've got the resources to throw into it -- not just money but time. Especially when the weather can undo your best efforts.

[EarthMother]

on 9/3/2009 Your goal setting tips are so good. If you don't really want to do it the goal won't happen. You really have to know why you want to attain a certain goal and that has to be a good reason or the goal attaining will not succeed. Smile!