How to live with the fact that your boyfriend doesn't sparkle like Edward Cullen does

In the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer, Edward Cullen sparkles if he stands in the sunlight. Some fans have read this and asked they're boyfriends to stand in the sun to see if they sparkle. This either ended in disappointment or being sent to a mental institution.
Learn to deal with the fact that your boyfriend just doesn't sparkle by following these steps.
If all else fails, I have included some steps with tips on how to try to make your boyfriend look like he sparkles.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Boyfriend
• Glitter
• Kaleidoscope
• 'Twilight' by Stephanie Meyer
• Relationship Councillor (possibly)

1. Whenever you see your boyfriend in the sun, and realise that he isn't sparkling, think calming thoughts and do not act irrationally-attacking him won't help anybody or your relationship.

2. Realise that there will only ever be one Edward Cullen, and if everyone started sparkling, it wouldn't be as special.

3. Always have the book 'Twilight' by Stephanie Meyer handy, so when you feel down about your boyfriends inability to sparkle, you can whip it out and read that wonderful meadow scene!

4. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
   BELOW ARE STEPS FOR WHAT YOU CAN DO IF YOU HONESTLY JUST CAN'T GET OVER IT YOUR BOYFRIEND NOT SPARKLING.
   ------------------------------------------------------------------------

5. 

   Buy some of this Glitter Spray and simply spray it on him when he least expects it:
   http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P195317&cm_mmc=us_partners-_-Linkshare-_-datafeed-_-allpdts&_requestid=355500

6. 

   Or do the above but with a less sparkly finish: http://shop.spellcosmetics.com/product.sc?categoryId=6&productId=113

7. 

   Look at your boyfriend through a Kaleidoscope at all times:
   http://www.nextag.com/kaleidoscope-toy/search-html

Tips & Warnings

• Avoid complaining to much that your boyfriend doesn't sparkle to his face.
• Spraying glitter over your boyfriend without warning may induce relationship breakdowns.