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Step 1
Listen to the child. Children may express a desire not to attend a funeral. If possible, avoid forcing them to go if they don't want to. However, many children will want to attend. It's good for them to go, as they need an opportunity for closure too.
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Step 2
Explain to the child what will happen at the funeral and gravesite. It's helpful for them to have a general idea of what's going to happen and when it will happen. Tell them that there will be a lot of people there and there may be some people who cry or act very sad. By preparing children beforehand, you'll decrease the likelihood of them becoming scared or anxious.
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Step 3
Tell the truth. Don't try to protect the child by saying that the deceased person is sleeping or has gone away. Children are very aware of what's going on and it's not fair to lie to them. They have extremely vivid imaginations and if the situation isn't explained properly, they may become quite confused or frightened.
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Step 4
Remind children that it's important to stay quiet and calm throughout the service. Ask them to stay close to you at all times during the graveside service.
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Step 5
Dress the child appropriately. If the weather is cold, be sure to dress them in a winter coat with gloves and a stocking hat. If it's hot or humid, select cool, comfortable clothing for the child.
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Step 6
Talk to the funeral director for additional direction on assisting your child throughout the graveside service.
