How to Request that Wedding Guests Do Not Give Gifts

Wedding gifts make sense for young couples or for anybody who genuinely needs a new toaster and some decent towels. However, many couples really do have everything they need already, or simply do not want their wedding guests to give them gifts. Unfortunately, some guests might be a little offended if they don't have the opportunity to give you a gift, so tread lightly. Here's how let your guests know that you would prefer to not receive gifts.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

1. In the wedding invitation, include a small sheet of paper with a politely worded note. A sample note might read, "We have been blessed with many material things over the years, and only request your presence at your wedding and not your presents."
2. Consider suggesting that guests donate money to a charity of your choice on this note. If you'd like, suggest a charity. A statement such as, "In lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to the American Lung Association or a charity of your choice," will do.
3. Enlist help from family members. Aunt Bertha is going to call your mother and say, "Oh, come on, she must want something." Instruct your mother to politely tell Aunt Bertha that although the couple appreciates her generosity, they truly do not need or want wedding gifts.
4. If you have a wedding website, include a polite note on the site that verifies your desire to not receive gifts.
5. Expect that some people will give you gifts regardless. Be sure to send polite thank-you notes and express gratitude, and do not mention that they went against your wishes. You can keep the gifts, return them, give them to charity, or hey, recycle them for another wedding.

Tips & Warnings

• If a few close relatives beg you to let them purchase gifts for you, consider making a short and secret registry available only to select people. You can use a false name if you don't want other guests to find the registry.
• Never refuse a gift. This is uber-rude.
• Avoid requesting that guests give money to a controversial charity. Your wedding invitation is not the best forum to make a political statement.