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10 Life Lessons That Will Help You Survive a Zombie Apocalypse


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There’s always a lot to take away from movies and television shows that are set against a zombie-infected, post-apocalyptical backdrop like “The Walking Dead.” Aside from the not-so-real-lessons, like being a veterinarian is the same thing as being a pediatrician, and when faced with zombies even the most docile person will develop skills equivalent to an experienced war vet, there are a few crucial life lessons that can (and should!) be taken away from some of these shows. Master these and maybe you’ll be alright when zombies flood your city.

1. Exercise is important. Rule number 1: cardio; and that’s no joke. You can’t expect to survive a zombie infestation if you spend the majority of your evenings laying on the couch binge watching ‘The Walking Dead.’ Doctors recommend at least 30 minutes of physical activity every day to maintain your health, so pretend you’re being chased by the living dead and get moving.

2. Double-check your work. They’ve been saying this since elementary school, but somehow errors always find their way into your “final” drafts. Get into the habit of checking and finalizing your work before walking away. Trust me, this is important. Oh, you thought that zombie was already dead? Bad news: now you’re dead too.

3. Always bring a spare. Whether it’s having a spare tire in your trunk or extra diapers you didn’t think you’d need, get in the habit of bringing it anyway. Not only will this prevent a ton of unnecessary disasters, but also get you thinking in survival mode. Do you want to know when zombies will attack? About 14 seconds after someone asks if you have a spare.

4. Basic first aid is important. Because, why not? You don’t need to take a paramedic course, but at the very least know how to give the Heimlich, perform basic CPR, be able to identify a topical infection, and bandage up a cut. You don’t want to beat out the zombies and then choke on a grape. What a waste.

5. Drink more water. Drinking water is important for blood pressure, circulation, organ function, and overall health. It also keeps your skin looking fresh and prevents obesity and fatigue. Substitute sugary beverages and juices for water and you’ll see and feel the results. You can also run 7 percent faster when hydrated, so get into the habit now, just in case.

6. Don’t waste time with false-friends. They’re too much work anyway. Worrying about untrustworthy friends and having to watch what you say around people you’re with is stressful and confusing. Besides, if zombies attacked they’d probably shoot you in the leg.

7. Know how to read a map. Bad news: Google maps probably won’t work in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. Know how to read a legend, be able to identify different terrains, locate freeways and landmarks, and calculate distance between two points. Or at the very least, be able to tell which way is north.

8. Technology is not fail-proof. Learn to live without it. Siri won’t answer questions during a zombie outbreak. That means she won’t be able to tell you where the nearest shelter is, how to treat a zombie bite (ahem, you can’t), or how to use a hammer if you do find a place to build a safe haven. Take an occasional break from technology and let yourself experience a Google-free world for a change. Not only is it a pretty refreshing experience, but will also decrease your dependence on a fallible system.

9. Learn how to cook. Know how to make basic recipes and cut back on eating out. Not only does this save you money and help you stay healthy, but it’s also a pretty crucial life skill. You want to know where the zombies will go first? McDonalds. Learn to make your own burgers.

10. Always, always, always, keep moving forward. Life is about making choices, and sometimes you think those choices become mistakes. They happen to us all. Learn from them and don’t waste time with regret. Those “what-if’s” and “if-only’s” that sometimes break their way into your narrative do nothing for your life story. A zombie apocalypse simply won’t allow for that kind of wasted time and energy. If you stand still for too long, you die. Keep moving forward.

Photo credit: AMC

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