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Let the teen know you want to have an honest and open conversation about sex. Explain that you will do your best to answer any questions she may have about sex. Keeping your tone friendly and matter of fact, open the discussion by explaining sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Tell the teenager that STDs are diseases anyone can contract during sexual contact. Explain that many STDs can be treated, but may cause uncomfortable symptoms, such as burning, itching and abnormal discharge. Add that some can do permanent damage. For example, chlamydia, gonorrhea and other STDs may contribute to the development of pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), an infection of the reproductive organs that can cause continuing pain; ectopic pregnancy, a pregnancy that develops outside the womb; and even infertility.
Explain that some STDs aren't curable. For example, there's no cure for genital herpes--a viral condition marked by blisters on the sexual organs and/or the rectum. According to the Mayo Clinic (See Reference 1), medication can help to shorten or prevent herpes outbreaks, but they cannot cure herpes.
Discuss the fact that some STDs can be deadly. Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) is a virus that causes acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS), a potentially fatal immune system disease. While AIDS can be treated, there is no known cure, and it takes many lives each year. Hepatitis C--a potentially fatal type of liver disease--can be sexually transmitted as well.
It may be hard for a teen to believe a healthy-looking person could have an STD, so it's important to let her know a person can have an STD no matter how clean, healthy, or attractive he appears. In fact, a person can have an STD without knowing it, as some STDs may not cause any symptoms and others only cause symptoms in some people. - Many teens are well aware that having unprotected sex can lead to pregnancy, but some may be confused about the facts. Explain that it only takes one time to get pregnant or impregnate someone. Let the teen know that the withdrawal method isn't a reliable method of birth control. Likewise, there is no sexual position that prevents pregnancy. Make it clear that birth control pills, birth control shots, diaphragms--bowl-like devices inserted into the vagina--and other types of contraception may provide reliable protection from pregnancy. However, they are not 100 percent effective, and most do not provide protection from STDs.
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Hearing about STDs and pregnancy can be frightening for a teenager, but let him know there are ways to stay safe. Abstinence--not having sex--is the only 100 percent reliable method of preventing STDs and pregnancy. However, staying 100 percent safe means the teenager cannot engage in foreplay or other sexual acts. This is because it's possible to spread some STDs from genital to genital or genital to oral contact that does not include intercourse. Likewise, it is possible but not likely, for a female to become pregnant from genital to genital contact, even if the male doesn't penetrate the female. This could happen if sperm is released at the vaginal opening and manages to make its way inside the vagina.
Besides abstinence, condoms are effective for preventing pregnancy. According to Planned Parenthood (See Reference 2), latex condoms are 98 percent reliable for pregnancy prevention. If used properly and for the duration of every sexual act, condoms help prevent STDs as well. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) (See Reference 3), however, they are not 100 percent effective. Condoms may be less reliable for preventing STDs that can be transmitted by skin-to-skin contact, such as herpes.
