Tips on Falling Out of Love


Falling out of love with someone is not as spontaneous as falling in love. Most likely, you never tried to fall in love; it just happened. However, when you know that the relationship is out of reach or you've just had your heart broken, you realize that falling out of love is necessary for your sanity. There is no cure, but there are things you can do to ease your pain and help your heart heal.

Getting Rid of Reminders

  • Discard or pack away any and all reminders of him and your relationship with him--this includes cards, letters, stuffed animals, pictures, text messages, voicemail messages, emails and any other sentimental items that take your thoughts straight to him. Tangible items need to be packed away, out of reach. If you can't throw them away, put them in a box in the attic, garage or somewhere else where you won't see them or be able to get to them easily.

Cutting off Communication

  • Avoid any and all communication with her, if possible. In situations where you must speak, such as if you work together and must conduct business, keep it to the matter at hand and don't allow yourself to break down. Don't call her or answer her calls. Delete her texts immediately. Avoid places where you know she tends to go. Even though it may be hard, take a break from mutual friends.


  • Lean on your friends and family, but also allow yourself some alone time to grieve; falling out of love is a loss. Confide in one or two of your closest friends who will just listen, as talking it out will usually help you reflect realistically on the relationship.

    Take advantage of some positive time to yourself. When you're first trying to get over someone, which is typically the most hurtful time, it's OK to be angry. Write in a journal or even write letters to him, detailing how hurt you are and how you feel about him, then tear the letters up.

    Focus on the relationship and be honest with yourself. Admit any mistakes you made, and make a positive mental note of how to improve yourself for you, not for him. For example, if you ignored him frequently, remind yourself with positive affirmations that "I am a good listener" to improve yourself for future relationships. Acknowledge the hurt he's caused you and the things he did wrong in the relationship. Don't put him on a pedestal. Concentrate on the five best qualities about yourself. Write them down and put them in places you see every day, such as on the bathroom mirror. Read them out loud to yourself several times a day.

It's All About You

  • Pamper yourself. Curl up with a good book or go see a comedy with a couple of friends. Take a mini-vacation or spend a day at the spa or gym. Do something for yourself that you enjoy but have neglected. It's okay to casually date, but take it slow and avoid rushing into a "rebound" relationship. You need to heal yourself and love yourself completely before you can offer love to someone else. Think of it like this: if you aren't completely healed, you won't be able to offer the complete and wonderful package that is you to someone else.


  • Above anything else you can do, realize that it will take time to completely fall out of love and heal your broken heart. Keep in mind that, in a sense, you may never fall completely out of love, meaning that a small part of you may always care for her. That's fine, as long as you move on. Don't dwell on her. Keep yourself busy, especially over the first few weeks, since that's when it's usually the hardest.


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