Advice for Divorced Men

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Divorce is one of the most devastating, tragic events that can occur in one's life, ranking with death and job loss. During this trying, confusing time, men may find themselves in unfamiliar emotional territor. Men, like women, experience a vast range of emotions after divorce.

Take Everything Slow

  • Divorce causes a minefield of emotions, putting the former husband in an emotional tailspin. Divorced men should be prepared to take everything slowly when it comes to emotional decisions, no matter how tempting it may be to do otherwise. Don't just jump right back into dating. Don't change every aspect of your life to make yourself feel better. Every decision you make should occur one step at a time, giving yourself a chance to think things through and ensure that whatever you are doing is not out of anger or on the rebound. A good rule of thumb is to avoid dating for at least six months after a divorce to give yourself time to heal and find closure from your previous relationship.

Involve Yourself In Other Activities

  • Dating is not the only thing to do once you find yourself alone again. Get involved in a variety of other activities based on your personal interests. Take a class in a subject you've always wanted to learn. Volunteer in your community. If you have children, throw yourself into rebuilding or repairing your relationship with them. Spend time with trusted family members and friends. Find ways to enjoy life via your favorite activities. Introduce some fun into your life again that does involve romantic entanglements.

Be Patient With Yourself

  • Despite the fact that you are a strong, macho man, rough days will occur. Divorce takes a huge toll on your heart, and even the strongest, most testosterone-driven guys have a hard time with it. Allow yourself to feel your feelings. Don't try to hide them and talk about them if you able to. Counseling will help, as will talking with a family member or friend. Cry if you need to, to experience emotional release. If you feel anger, try to release it in a healthy way, like through exercising or hitting a few balls at the local batting cage. Whatever you do, be patient with yourself as you work your way through this new array of emotions.

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