How to Speed Date

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Speed dating involves going on a series of short dates that last between three and ten minutes. See the basics of speed dating with help from a dating coach in this free video clip.

Part of the Video Series: Dating Advice
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Video Transcript

Hi, I'm Sally Landau. I'm a relationship coach and my company is Dating Can Be Fun. How do you do speed dating? I have to admit, this is a subject very close to my heart because this is how I met my husband. I love speed dating. It's an excellent opportunity to experiment in social discourse. Here's how it works. Depending on what company that you're dealing with, because everyone tweaks their process a little bit differently, you may have three minutes or five minutes or maybe eight minutes to talk to somebody new and then usually you can vote yes or no and you find out the next day through email or maybe a phone call if they voted for you too. So, while you're motoring from table to table, you have a few things to think about, and this is going to be really simple. If you leave your expectations at home like, I'm going to find the one, you just leave that expectation at home and think, you know, this is going to be as much fun as going out like to a movie or to a wonderful restaurant, just make an adventure for the evening, no expectations. Be authentically you. There are only two reasons that you need to think about why you would be there. One is, is there any reason why you want to see this person a second time, and what am I learning about me? Both of those are going to bode you well for everything in your future. So, for example, you start learning where your boundaries like. You start learning what your tolerances are. You start learning what gets you excited and what makes you fearful. You learn so much about you and the more you learn about you, the more of you you have to give. Now, here's just one final hint of something not to do. Do not come with a list of prepared questions. Here's why not. You are looking down at the questions, then you're writing the answers. You are barely connecting with that person. They know that you're asking that question of everyone in the room, and they don't feel special. They feel compared. They want to be acknowledged. They want to be unique and they may want to be in your life. So, just go for it. Live in the present. Don't worry about what you say. If they don't like you, that's a good thing. Rejection is a gift. Just go out and have fun and be open to what comes next. My name is Sally Landau. I'm your relationship coach, and my company is Dating Can Be Fun.


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