How to Be an Encourager

Video Transcript

"Hi, I'm Dr. Laura Grashow, a Licensed Psychologist with drgrashow.com. Okay, so let's talk about how to be a good encourager as a parent. The first thing you want to do is really pay attention to what your child is doing. And then you want to give them specific feedbacks; specific feedback on their efforts especially. You don't want to focus on the outcome. You want to focus on effort. They know that you're really paying attention and watching when you give them specific feedback. So you might for example, if they're playing tennis, say, "Great job; I really like the way you are trying to improve your serve." Or if they're working on an art project, you might say, you might say to them, "I really like the way you're experimenting with all these different colors." So again, really focus on what they're doing. Give them specific feedback and then I think probably what's most important is be realistic in your feedback. You can be positive and be realistic. Kids know when they're missing the mark and they know when they're struggling. So they don't want to just be told that they're doing a great job when they're not. But of course, they want support. So again, focus on effort over outcome. Focus on specific things; really pay attention and you will be a good encourager."