What Is the Seven-Year Itch?

Video Transcript

"Hi! I'm Dr. Darren Adamson from Argosy University here in Salt Lake City. Here today to talk to you about something I have some expertise in as a marriage and family therapist. Question is often asked of me, what is the seven year itch? Statistics indicate that at the seventh year of marriage or seventh year of a relationship, people tend to grow apart, they tend to begin to have their own activities, they begin to become interested in other things around that time. So, it's a correlation between the seventh year of the relationship and many things impinging upon that relationship. Often, there are children involved in that relationship. There are assignments at work, there is growth in a person's career and that take a lot of time and energy and so the couple tends to grow apart, and they maybe find others that they might be interested in romantically or at least attracted to. So, the seventh year itch refers to that itch if you will to discover another relationship that is more fulfilling or more satisfying because the things in life have made the current relationship appear a little bit boring. So, how do you deal with the seventh year itch if you're in that situation? I think they key ingredient is, don't let it become unconscious. In other words, think about it. Is that relationship important to you? What do you want that relationship to be like? Is that relationship one that you want to last for a long long time? If so, there's work to be done. The first thing to do is, talk about it. Talk about that relationship. This is important to me, I want this relationship to last. What do we do to make it exciting? What do we do to keep it alive? If you come over the list of things that will keep that relationship alive, then you know what? You'll probably have a twenty year itch which is a good thing because that relationship will have lasted at least that long. Make plans, stick to those plans and particularly make sure those plans are focused on the relationship."