Remarrying After Spouses' Death

Video Transcript

"After the death of a spouse, it's hard enough to think about dating, but getting remarried? I'm Sandi Sunter. I'm with the Hospice of the Florida Sun Coast. After the death of a loved one, getting out there and meeting new people, is very challenging, especially in today's world, but there are many who would like to get remarried, and it is a wonderful opportunity for people, no matter where they are in their life span, to meet a new companion, but there are some things to keep in mind, because when you remarry, you are going to be bringing with you, some other history, and some other memories, things that cannot be forgotten. In entering a new marriage, first of all to remember, that you are bringing the past with both of you, if you're both widowed, and that is not fair to expect, that either of you are going to not bring your other partner with you, at some point, with your memories, and that is something to talk about, to bring those memories with you, to talk about them, and to realize, that each of you will have part of your memories of your previous relationship. Also, don't fight over petty material things. If you're going to be combining two households, have a discussion ahead of time, about what you will be bringing, to make your new household together. Everybody will need to give up something. Some of you will need to be bringing something together, but don't make it arguments over material items. Everybody will want to have something of memorabilia, but you can't bring everything, and it has to be compromise, on this particular area. Another one, is to remember that you're really bringing when you remarry, three hearts. Again, because you are bringing that other person with you at some point. On anniversaries or special dates, or holidays, there is always going to be some memory of the loved one, and you're also bringing other family members. Many people have children from previous marriages, and you're bringing those people along with you, and sometimes those relationships are positive, and sometimes they're not, and it has to be remembered that those family members also are grieving, for the person who died,and there are feelings attached to that, so it's going to take some time, to build new relationships. Getting remarried is a new journey. It's an opportunity to make new memories, and start new, and that's very exciting. I'm Sandi Sunter. I'm with the Hospice of the Florida Sun Coast."