How to Forgive an Unfaithful Husband

Video Transcript

"Hi I'm Joe Cuenco with family resources. Today we are going to be talking about dealing with relationship issues. Specifically how to forgive an unfaithful husband. Just what do we need to do to forgive an unfaithful husband. There's a lot at stake here. Obviously your marriage, future, and the past the time that you spend together. So we really need to understand what's happening at the root cause here, just why was this behavior engaged in. Was it unsatisfying sex, was there some physical things that he emotional needs that he was not getting out of the relationship. These are questions that all need to be asked because sometimes it really becomes a two way street. There's really a no fault issue here. It is joint responsibility when something happens, so we really need to understand those and get to the root of that. And counseling perhaps can be helpful in that situation. But you also need to understand that this maybe a confidence issue, he may have low self esteem, he needs, he himself needs professional help. But before you can get to the forgiveness aspect, he has, he does have to ask for forgiveness. So has he asked you for forgiveness, has he promised that these behaviors that he's engaged in won't happen again, perhaps it's tied to other behaviors, excessive drinking, drugs or something like that. So it's going to be tough to keep him out of the environment that caused him to be in that situation but realistically he's going to have fess up and say I'm going to be away from those types of behaviors and those types of environments. We need to understand that this behavior displays a gross lack of respect for you the relationship and destroys trust. Trust is the number one issue that successful couples have indicated are paramount in a relationship. Nothing else can really follow strongly without that element of trust. So we recognize that some individuals may not change these ingrained behaviors and you really have to make a decision. Think about whether or not this is something for you long term. But if it's a one time thing, perhaps with counseling, perhaps couples can work through this and become stronger. But you really need to think through the situation, was it one time thing or how can it be dealt with. There's counseling, there's workshops, marital education can help. But you really need to consider is he somebody that asked for forgiveness. And that's how we forgive an unfaithful husband. I'm Joe Cuenco, with family resources. Relationships for life."