How to Deal With a Controlling Spouse

Video Transcript

"Hi, I'm Joe Cuenco with Family Resources and we're working on our relationship skills today. We're going to be talking about how to deal with a controlling spouse. Well, just how do we deal with a controlling spouse? The first thing I would recommend is taking the remote control away, no realistically, the first process is started by having communication with one another just understanding what behaviors are existing and how they're effecting each individual in the relationship. It's important for individuals to know that at the end of the day, you really can't control someones behaviors and the more you try and control, the more that individual is going to push back. It becomes a cycle, a process that just deteriorates and that's not healthy in a relationship, you want to build up. It really starts with the communication process, with the expectations of roles and responsibilities for each partner. Once that's discussed and there's communication and each person understands what's happening, then there can be a free flow of dialog and also an understanding of the behaviors that are good and the behaviors that are bad. Sometimes we need to understand that with a person who's controlling maybe has some issues with confidence and, perhaps, that individual will need to have some professional counseling. The more you are proactive in working and having communication in a relationship, this could be much more beneficial. We have to recognize that all of us have needs, wants and desires that are going to be fulfilled in a relationship and some are not so once we come to an understanding and understand that, we'll be much happier in being satisfied and understanding that this is the way that the situation is. Compromise and you can enjoy more out of the relationship and there are also workshops that can be attended to, Family Resource puts on workshops, there's also marriage education workshops. Relationship is a partnership, there's got to be a CEO who makes some decisions and a CEO who delegates because a CEO can't make decisions and answer the phone at the same time. So, once we realize that there's a balance, we can deal with a controlling spouse. I'm Joe Cuenco with Family Resources, Relationships for Life."