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How to Make a Long-Distance Relationship Last
How to Determine Whether Your Long-Distance Relationship Is Working
How to Celebrate Valentine's Day With a Long-Distance Lover
How to Have a Successful Long-Distance Relationship
How to Tell a Woman's on the Rebound
How to Recognize an Emotionally Abusive Relationship
How to Recognize a Verbally Abusive Man
Preventing an Abusive Relationship
Advice For Long-Distance Relationships
Why Men Abuse Women
Different Types of Abusive Relationships
Emotional Consequences of Long-Distance Relationships
Signs of an Abusive Personality
Dating on the Rebound
How to Recover From an Abusive Relationship
How to End an Abusive Relationship
Avoiding Rebound Relationships After a Divorce
Can a Rebound Relationship Feel Like Love?
Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship
How to Handle an Abusive Relationship
Why Do Women Stay in Abusive Relationships?
Why Do Couples Stay in Abusive Relationships?
How to Have a Successful Rebound Relationship
Getting Help With Abusive Relationships
Some couples stay in abusive relationships because they see themselves as getting something out of it. Lea… More
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Summary: Some couples stay in abusive relationships because they see themselves as getting something out of it. Learn about the payoffs some people experience in an abusive relationship from a relationship author and talk show host in this free video on relationships.
Dr. Paul Vehorn has a Ph.D and did graduate work in behavior psychology. He has also been a nationwide talk show host on the Sun Radio Network. Dr. Vehorn wrote "Dynamic Dating" and...read more
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"By saying S and M, we're not talking about the candy here. Why do couples stay in abusive relationships? This is Dr. Paul, author of "Boomer Girls, A Woman's Guide to Men and Dating", national talk show host, and relationship consultant. Sadism and masochism, the yen and yang. Why do people, couples precisely, stay in abusive relationships? Because, there is a payoff for them. What is the emotional payoff that these people are receiving from being in an abusive relationship? The couple is there, there are subconscious needs, that one person has that the other person is offering. It's a symbiotic relationship. There is a need there. One's needs are met by the other's needs. Now, whether you approve of this or not, is irrelevant. Moral and value judgments have no place here. It only has to do with the couple. Now, hear this, and this may be the only time you're going to hear this from a relationship consultant. Because too often, consultants, people who are involved with relationships, say, oh, you shouldn't do this. I don't should on anyone. If it works for you, and you have a mutually abusive relationship, and you like it, and you love the other, have at it. Have at it. Enjoy it for what it is. Maybe that particular need is something you need in your life. And I know there are going to be many people who disagree with me. There are going to be people who may even be enraged by this, but I've seen it. I've seen it work. I've listened to people on the air. I've had people call me, saying, hey, look. We know what it is, but hey, we like it the way it is. Se la vie. This is Dr. Paul. May your fantasies of today, be your realities of tomorrow."
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