Finding Happiness After Divorce

Video Transcript

"Happiness is found within, not without. Finding Happiness After Divorce. This is Dr. Paul, author of "Boomer Girls", a boomer woman's guide to men and dating, and host of Ask Dr. Paul. The divorce is over; how do you find happiness? First, you must be happy within yourself. And that's easier said than done; I understand that. Being alone, for many people, is not an option. Many people can be alone without being lonely. Now, if you're alone with being lonely, obviously, then you are not in the happy mode. So you want to be happy. Well, the best way to do that, it's just like losing a loved one and a death. You have to get with your friends and network. You need to go out with your friends. Stay away from the bars and the clubs, it's not your intent to meet someone up front. Let it happen, don't make it happen. Let it happen. You certainly want to be involved with other people, and the best way is to go with your friends and ease into it. Okay? The happiness you seek is going to come. You want to do online dating, possibly, maybe that will help you to start communicating. But the danger is that you're vulnerable up front. You're very vulnerable, and someone sweet-talks you, male or female, you're there - I've found someone who loves me. No, you didn't. You've found someone who may be an opportunist. You're not going to fall in love with someone if you don't see them physically and talk to them one-on-one, and have that interaction with feelings. That doesn't happen. I don't care how rosy they want to make the test look like on the internet: Oh, we've got this thing that'll make you so happy, we'll find the right person for you, as long as you pay us a fee every month, I'm sure you'll be happy with this. The bottom line is that you have to see them one-on-one. And if you do meet someone, we're talking about happiness, after that divorce, then you need to see that person within 60 days at least of having met them online if that's where you're going. Network through friends. There are other people out there like you, believe me, you're not alone in the world. So make that happiness your goal in terms of working with and being around people you know. This is Dr. Paul. May your fantasies of today be your realities of tomorrow."