How to Date a Cougar

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Part of the video series: Dating Advice

Summary: A cougar is an older woman that is sophisticated, knowledgeable, more experienced and typically dates younger guys for a fun time. Learn to date a cougar with caution and hesitancy with tips from the author of a book on dating in this free video on relationship advice.

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By Dr. Paul Vehorn
eHow Presenter

Dr. Paul Vehorn has a Ph.D and did graduate work in behavior psychology. He has also been a nationwide talk show host on the Sun Radio Network. Dr. Vehorn wrote "Dynamic Dating" and...read more

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meotch1 said

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on 7/20/2009 great dialogue here in these comments!

doctorpaul said

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on 1/4/2009 Dr. Fayr thanks for your response...you are correct about the Anne Bancroft dress as the basis for the term cougar...unfortunately that was then and this is now...in order to communicate with this generation it is better to K.I.S.S. (Keep It Super Simple)...so any reference to Ann Bancroft from their perspective will probably make their eyes glaze over...I am pragmatic with my readers, listeners, and viewers..."git er done" is said by one of the blue collar comedy team...good advice...so you see, I find it ethically responsible to communicate...not to confuse...my audience isn't going to have a semester exam...they live in the real world and want answers they can identify with, and they want them now!...All The Best!

drfayr said

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on 12/6/2008 By the way, the zoo reference for Cougars is inappropriately made. The nomenclature has nothing to do with the animal. It came from the style of the dress that Anne Bancroft wore in the seduction scene from The Graduate, which was called a Cougar dress. Please do your homework, Paul. You have an ethical responsibility to disseminate accurate information to people.

drfayr said

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on 12/6/2008 Dr. Paul I must disagree with your blanket generalizations regarding Cougar dating. The majority of women on my cougar/cub website want long term relationships and it is the younger men (cubs) who are looking for temporary hook ups. As someone who is well versed in this area due to my education, training and experience as a Ph.D. I am surprised that you base your remarks on phone calls that you have received from some people vs a statistically significant research outcome based upon N>100.

Video Transcript

"The zoo is full of animals, but how do you date a cougar? This is Dr. Paul, author of Boomer Girls: A Boomer Woman's Guide to Men and Dating and host of Ask Dr. Paul. By definition, the cougar is the older woman; not that much older, but older; who hits on and dates younger guys. There's an interesting thing happening. A lot of it is happening, but the most interesting is that the man, often times, is the one who winds up with a broken heart. I know. Surprise, surprise, right? Well don't be surprised, because here is a younger man dating a woman who is older, sophisticated, more knowledgeable in all areas, knows how to satisfy that man, whether it be at dinner, sexually, in a conversation, patronizing him, and he falls in love. And he really falls in love, because he has never experienced someone like this in his life before. And why not? Because he's working and dealing with and dating younger women. This woman has it all, as far as he's concerned. When she moves on; invariably they do; he's the one who gets burned. So how do you date a cougar? Carefully. Let that be a lesson to you, because I've had many calls, surprisingly, from both the cougar and from the male who has been the victim of, if you will, a cougar. Understand that they're there for a good time, and you'll enjoy it. But be careful of the ride, because it can have a sudden stop. This is Dr. Paul. May your fantasies of today be your realities of tomorrow."

eHow Article: How to Date a Cougar