How to Teach Good Manners

Video Transcript

"Hi, this is Laura Turner and today I'm going to talk to you about how to teach good manners. Teaching good manners is really about exemplifying those manners yourself. If you're going to teach your child about good manners, for example, you can't sort of say "Johnny keep your elbows off the table when you're eating" and then turn around and do it yourself and then Johnny will say "Oh Mom, you're doing it yourself, why are you..." So first of all exemplify good manners in order to teach them because manners are really about copying the mannerisms of other people into a socially accepted norm. Next make no exceptions for manners. If you want Johnny to have good manners at the dinner table, make sure he has them at the dinner table and make sure he has them when you're out to eat somewhere, make sure he has them at 7:00 in the morning on a Saturday when he eats breakfast. You don't have to be a complete Nazi about it, but do try to make no exceptions. Say "Johnny, you should always have good manners, not just when you're at home with us and not just when your Mom is watching". Finally give clear guidelines to the children. Make sure they know exactly what you expect of them and why. Why is it not good manners to put your elbows on the table, and then you could demonstrate how it makes you look when you eat with your elbows on the table, or when you chew with your mouth open, and you'll say "Isn't that gross Johnny?" And just learning by example, learning by showing. And finally implement a reward system. If it's really something really important that Johnny has to learn for purposes of etiquette, he's going to go to a dinner in his family's honor or something and he really needs to know how to use the specific fork for the salad and for the dessert. Make sure that he practices it and then therefore you give rewards to him or her for actually practicing this good etiquette because it's about looking at people, seeing how they act, how that makes you feel, and about teaching people how to make each other feel comfortable and good. So good luck with teaching your good manners."