Choosing Between 2 Lovers

Series Summary

Romance, some say, may not be an old concept in Western civilization. Our films are wont to add tumultuous love interests to ancient heroes like Beowulf, Achilles, Alexander, or Caesar, but many cultural theorists, textual experts, and sociologists have argued again and again that sexuality, which is the foundation for modern day romance, is a rather new creation of society, dating back merely a couple hundred years. According to many, Romantic love, or the affection two souls generate when they find kindred spirits in one another, began in the French stories of knights and chivalry. More traditional research, however, claims to find evidence of romance and intimate love in all cultures throughout history. Truly, love is a strange and enigmatic thing. In this free video series on relationship dating techniques, author Paul VeHorn discusses several topics related to interpersonal relationships. VeHorn begins by explaining how to fall in love with a friend and how to become a good lover. He then discusses other topics related to love and relationships, such as: how to cultivate love, define love, know if you're in love, love yourself, say I love you, separate love from lust and even how to express true romantic feelings for a significant other. Watch these free videos and learn more about interpersonal relationships today.

Video Transcript

"Choosing between two pair of shoes, ladies, is a difficult situation. But how do you choose between two lovers? This is Dr. Paul, author of Boomer Girls, a Boomer Woman's Guide to Men and Dating, and host of Ask Dr. Paul. That question comes up frequently on my show, and it's very, very easy to make a mistake, and I talk to people about their gut feelings. I've had women say, "Well, I like this person for that reason, and this person for that reason." Fine, then keep them both. But if your point is that "I have to choose", then you must make it well within your feelings. Don't do it intellectually. If you sit there and say, "Well, I have this lady in my mind who has told me that I should choose this guy, and I have this other friend in my mind who said I should choose this guy", don't let them decide for you. You have to choose. It's your life. What you need to do is very, very quietly sit down, no music, just sit down, almost like a meditation, and ask yourself, "Which of these people do I really want to spend the rest of my life with? Not next week, not short term, but the rest of my life with." That's the basis for that decision. I mean, you're not going to spend the rest of your life with that pair of shoes, okay, but you may in fact spend your life with that lover. This is Dr. Paul. May your fantasies of today be your realties of tomorrow."