How to Resolve Conflict in a Marriage

Video Transcript

"We're continuing to work on our relationship skills and today we're going to be talking about how to resolve conflicts in marriage. Hi I'm Joe Cuenco, I'm with Family Resources. And the question of how do you resolve conflict in a marriage, can really is, is really two-fold. It really depends on the nature of the conflict. Do you have really big issues or do you have little minor things that are becoming big issues? So if they are the big issues, then, realistically, you may not, you and your husband may not be prepared to deal with the big issues, you really may need some professional help. That's where counseling may come or visit with a minister/pastor may be beneficial. Marriage education workshops and workshops put on by groups like Family Resources are also a very positive and very helpful tools and aids to help you understand how to fine tune your relationships and work through some of the conflicts that you may have. But these are more issues that are, are not at a level to where you, they are big chasms, that where you may have irreparable issues or irreparable issues. So when it comes down to resolving issues between yourselves so, it's really important that you really kind of sit, sit down and understand what the inventory of issues are. You really need to jot down in a piece of paper what's working, what is not working, what are your strengths, what are your weaknesses and build upon your strengths and attack the areas of growth one by one by putting together, basically an action plan. It maybe that, I'm spending my weekends on Saturday and Sunday playing golf and that's hurtful to, to what my wife is doing or my wife is maybe spending too much time with her girlfriends during the week to where I may not be getting my meals on time or in the fashion that I like. But the question is, you really have to understand where each other's position are on the issues, prepare this inventory and determine what the compromises are to work through the action plan. If your way from the fundamentals of love, trust, friendship, respect and communication, then those are the things that you really need to focus on, because without those, those are the fundamental building blocks. And again, workshop or a marriage counselor, relationship counselor might be help, might be helpful. Or, it could be perhaps that maybe you're getting away from the little things, treating each other special; preparing the meal, giving back rubs, foot rubs, you know, getting a Martini when he comes in the door, or making her coffee in the morning. Making each other feel like they're the most special person and you'd have that choice all over again if you had to do this. So work together towards a common goal and again, as occasion is a very positive thing, and utilize the workshops and whatever resources you may have in your, to help you build that relationship. Take away the conflict, you'd be much happier in your marriage. I'm Joe Cuenco for Family Resources Building Relationships For Life."