How to Choose a Husband

Video Transcript

"We're working on our relationship selection skills today, in particular we're going to be finding out how to choose a husband. I'm Joe Cuenco with Family Resources. What is the best way to choose a husband? Well, I get asked this question quite a bit, and my normal answer is "aisle thirteen in the grocery store, right behind the produce section, you can probably find the right man." It's actually a pretty difficult question. You really have to determine really what you want for yourself; are you looking for a Harvard professor, are you looking for somebody that's into the arts, somebody that's a sports, has a sports profile, you know, that's energetic, outdoorsy, loves to fish. You really have to determine, you know, what your tastes are, and then determine what type of match is going to make you the happiest. You've got to work on yourself, improve yourself, and therefore, you'll know who you are and be able to make that right choice. But if your thinking about the choice, or the selection between one or two individuals, then it's going to be the person that, that treats you the best. I mean the fundamentals have to be there; love, trust, respect, friendship, communication. All of those are the real key, core, core issues to deal with, and the key dimensions. If you don't have those, then the relationship is not going to progress. But there are also little things, is the man that you're considering accepting to be his wife, does he treat you well? Does he, does he buy you flowers? Does he buy you chocolates? Does he, does he treat you well in public? Does he do little things for you? Does he wash your care? Does he put gas in your car? Things like that, so if you're being treated well on the high level fundamentals, and also he's doing little things for you, to really make you feel special, then this is probably an indication that this man could be a good husband. But then you have to think, broader picture too. Do you share the same long term goals? Do you want a family, does he want a family? What about your retirement? And things of that nature, so there's a short-term picture, there's your needs, wants, but also, you know, the planning horizon, as well, which needs to be thought about. And if I could bring you back just to that line in Jerry Maguire's movie, when Tom, Tom Cruise said, "you complete me," does this individual really complete you? And if the answer is 'yes' then probably, you've got a good match. Workshops will help you understand these relationship dimensions, marriage education is key. But making the right choice is really something that, that you can only feel right here. I'm Joe Cuenco, with Family Resources, Relationships for Life."