How to Apologize to a Man

Video Transcript

"Hi, my name is Reka Morvay. I'm a psychologist, and I'm going to talk to you today about how to apologize to a man. If you find yourself in a situation where you have trampled all over the feelings of some man that you care about, it is very important that you know how to apologize effectively. Now, the most important thing is to know your man. What kind of person is he, and what kind of apology do you think he would prefer. Generally people prefer clear apologies in which you recognize what you did and recognize what effect it had on the person that you are trying to apologize to. And make sure that in your apology you refer to these things. So, if you realize that by forgetting to call on his birthday you hurt his feelings, then come out and say exactly I am sorry that I forgot to call you on your birthday, and I know that it hurt your feelings and I would like to make it up to you. Now this is the second step. Offer something after your apology by means of trying to make up for whatever it was that you did in the first place. So if you forgot a birthday then try to offer some kind of special birthday treat that would make up for the hurt that you caused. So it is best to use this double edged approach by apologizing and by offering to do something nice for the person to make up for it. And the reason it's important to know who you're apologizing to and what they would prefer is because some people really like a very terse apology. You just say I'm sorry, I did this and this and this, and let me make it up to you. Now some people prefer something that's a bit longer and a bit more drawn out. Maybe a discussion about exactly what had happened. Try to know who it is that you're apologizing to. The same thing applies to the favor that you then offer. It can be something very small, or it can be a series of favors, maybe you will need to work extra hard for a couple of weeks in order to make up for whatever mistake it was that you made."