Verifying Perception With Direct Communication

Video Transcript

"Now something else you want to be aware of in all kinds of relationships, but especially romantic relationships, marriages, when it comes to perception checking don't be a mind reader. That's what we tend to do. We tend to try to read the other person's mind and perceive what they're feeling, what they're thinking, what's going on in the relationship and you want to avoid that. Let's say my husband and I are watching television and I'm trying to have a conversation with him and he's not really saying anything to me. So I perceive that he's mad at me. Well, I can go with that perception that he's mad so then I'll just be mad. A counter action follows. Or I can not mind read. I can directly say are you mad at me. Or I might be more indirect, would you rather watch TV right now. Or I might say are you mad at me or are you mad at the kids. So what you want to do is not go and run off on a tangent with that initial perception without asking the other person point blank if that perception is true."