Nonverbal Assertive Communication

Video Transcript

"Now let's talk about nonverbal choices and when I'm talking about nonverbal, what you're doing with your hands, what you're doing with your face and what you're doing with your eyes. Again, you have three choices. Let's talk about the extremes first. The non-assertive communicator, probably going to be making very uncomfortable, you know maybe they're wringing their hands or perhaps they're looking down, they're not making eye contact. They're doing nonverbal things that express to the other person I'm uncomfortable, I'm nervous, I don't like this. Then, you've got your other extreme where they're in your face, they're shaking their fist, their pointing their finger, they're staring you down, they are in your face. Well, that's no good either. What again we're going for is moderation. Perhaps you're using hand gestures that accentuate the points that you're trying to make but they are not in your face. As well as eye contact, you don't want to look away, you don't want to stare the person down. You want to use moderately appropriate eye contact. You don't want to be doing things, expressions with your face...you know like your aggressive communicator will be doing, "huh, huh," stuff like that. Well, that's aggressive. You want to be assertive so you want to have your face firm. You know I'm not going to back down here but I'm not going to be ridiculous with my face. So again, when we talk about nonverbals pick the moderate, pick the middle. Enhance what you need to enhance and the rest, leave it alone."