Dining Invitation Etiquette in China

Video Transcript

"Hi, I'm Mark Kemsley. We're talking about the etiquette of meals which is a very important part of getting to know Chinese people and doing business with them. The invitation is the very beginning of this whole process, and it's something that you need to understand because it has caused a lot of trouble with the miscommunication between westerners and Chinese people in the past. Let me explain what I mean. If somebody invites you to a meal, your reaction would be to say, okay, I would like to come to this meal. But it would be better and more polite for you to refuse it and say, no, I don't want to trouble you. Okay. Don't have to make up an excuse that you have to do something else because they might actually believe you, but just say it's not necessary, I don't want to trouble you. This is a good way for them to feel that you are humble and not just jumping at the invitation. And after they invite you again, then you can accept the invitation. But the opposite is true and even more important for you to understand. If you invite a Chinese person to a meal, it's very likely that they will say no the first time. And then if you just say okay, well maybe next time or whatever, you will work out of the room and they will be completely bewildered, scratching their head and wondering, what happened? Didn't he just invite me to a meal? Why aren't we going out to eat? Okay, because Chinese people normally don't accept the first time. If you invite them to a meal they might often say, say no, and then you have to invite them again and then they refuse you again, and then you just insist that you really want to have this meal with them, and usually on the third time, they will accept the invitation and that's the proper way to do it. It means that they weren't jumping at it, they're not beggars trying to get a meal, but that you really wanted them to come and that they're willing to come along and make you happy."