Definition of Constructive Feedback

Video Transcript

"Hi I'm Donna Barnes, life and relationship coach here in New York City, and the author of "It's All About You." In this clip we're going to talk about the definition of construction feedback. And that really does need to be defined, because I think that all too often people get into giving advice or unwanted advice or criticism, which isn't then constructive. And hopefully the motive is to be constructive, because constructive feedback can really help somebody out. If you can learn from your mistakes, then going forward hopefully you can make better choices and better decisions. So, if you feel that you have knowledge that would help somebody else, that you would like to impart to them, asks their permission first. It's great if you say, "could I offer a suggestion?" And let them be aware that you are about to give a suggestion, and give them the opportunity to say, "you know what, no. I really can't make any changes to this, I don't want to be stressed out about it, please." And that's a good little tip to know too. There is a fun little saying that you know, if they can make changes about it, then be honest about and tell them what you think. But if they can't change it, and it's done, try not to make them feel bad about it. Just let it go, maybe softly give some gently advice for next time. So let's go back to how then do you give constructive criticism. Ask for permission, say, "hey could I offer you some advice?" And again, it is your advice, doesn't mean that your way is the right way. Or that they absolutely have to do what it is that you are telling them to do. It is just offering a different way to them, and maybe expanding their mind and their thought about it. So then in doing that try not to be overly critical, the objective isn't to criticize, it's to help. So if there is something that you didn't like, maybe instead of just saying, "I don't like that." Saying, "here, here's a different suggestion of how to do that." So keep the other persons feelings in mind, and then you can really be helpful. That's the objective. This is Donna Barnes from New York City."