How to Know If Your Spouse Is Gay

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To know if your spouse is gay, trust your instincts, discuss problems with intimacy, and give them an opening to talk to you about how they feel. Avoid accusing a spouse of being gay by discussing problems with advice from a relationship coach in this free video on marriage.

Part of the Video Series: Dating & Relationships Advice
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Video Transcript

Hi, I'm Donna Barnes. I'm a life and dating coach, the owner of NY Dating Coach, here in New York City. In this clip we'll talk about how to know if your spouse is gay, and it seems like this has been coming up more frequently in the news, but trust your instincts. If you feel like the intimacy between you is not what it used to be, or that it's awkward... and really pay attention to it, don't get into denial and just decide that "Oh no, I'm wrong." Maybe ask about it. It might be hard, but if you say "Hey, I'd like to talk to you about something," and don't accuse them of being gay but maybe say "Have you changed about, you know... this is what I'm feeling and I'm wondering if I'm correct. Is this something that I'm not able to fulfill for you anymore?" In fact, that's a great way to say it. Say "Am I not fulfilling all of your needs, or is there anything I can do differently?" and give them an opening, and make them feel comfortable to tell you. If they start, you know, you feel like they're sneaking around and they're doing other things, or spending a little too much time with another guy or something like that, those are all tips that could be what you think it is. This is Donna Barnes, from New York City.


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