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Step 1
Be a positive role model, realistic about your abilities and limitations, but willing to test those limits by learning new skills, example- painting, playing an instrument, organizing a worthy charitable event.
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Step 2
Pay attention to the words you use, when your child DOES fail.
Instead of "maybe next time", tell them how proud you are of the effort that was made. The idea is to reward effort and completion, instead of outcome. -
Step 3
Identify and redirect your child's inaccurate belief's . Whether this relates to perfection, attractiveness, or abilities. The more accurate standards that kids have about themselves, the more likely that kid is to see a situation in it's true light. An example might be of a child failing math, who says, "I'm just a bad student." This needs to be corrected by a parent who may tell him that he does well in school, but math is a struggle, and maybe (together) you can work on it, to figure out why it's so hard for him. Keep the home front a place where your child is safe, nurtured and respected.
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Step 4
Never let anyone tell you to let your kid fail -- giving up is the WORST thing you can do for your kid. It gives him the message that to follow the path of least resistence is acceptable. If you don't invest in your kids, what IS worth investing??????
Comments
Limowreck said
on 8/29/2008 What a great article! I absolutely believe you are right about rewarding efforts, fruitful or not. I believe the key to raising an industrious and productive child is teach them the value of trying. We often focus so much on results, we forget that the first step in achieving ANYTHING is to take the first step. Another fabulous article. *****