How to Approach Understanding Child Behavior

Video Transcript

"Hi, I'm Pam on behalf of Expert Village and now we are going to talk about understanding behaviors in children. Here is a very simple six step approach to handling a situation. Now, let's say that you have two children get into the block center and they reach for the same toys at the same time. Now you may have them yelling mine, mine and another kid starts pushing another one. What you want to do step one is approach. You want to initiate the mediation. Approach the conflict let them know that you are aware of what happened and that you are available for them to talk to. Get close enough again to intervene if necessary. Stop aggressive behavior if you need to, but kind of let the children see if they can work it out on themselves. Step two you want to make a statement. Describe the scene. Now you want to reflect on what you saw, not make assumptions. So don't offer judgments, values or solutions. Say, it looks as if you two both want that same car, or I see that you two are yelling at each other. This way you have not put the blame on any one child. Step three; you want to ask questions, you want to get information. Don't direct questions towards placing blame. Draw out details and define the problems. Step four; you want to generate alternative solutions. Give them a suggestion; give them a job of thinking and figuring it out. Say, well you know, obviously you two can?t both play with this at the same time. Kaley, could you think of something else that maybe you could do if we let Morgan play with this toy? Then she is coming up with it, maybe she'll say, we can take turns, maybe she'll say I'll let Morgan go play go play with it first, while I go play with something else. Again, you are letting her come up with the solution. Step five, agree on the solution. If they come up with a good one, let them know, you know, that's a good idea. So we've decided, emphasize, we've decided that Morgan will get to play with the car first while Kaley, you go play with the Barbie's. And then step six, follow through. Monitor to make sure that they go through with what they say, they are not arguing any more and make sure you watch so that nothing goes wrong. Use the power of language to reinforce the situation and the positive solution that they came up with."