How to Show Subtle Control with Body Language

Video Transcript

"DR. MICHELLE COHEN: Some people are not completely comfortable with the power plays used in the previous clip showing more control especially women. Sometimes, women come to me and say, "I really want to assert myself and I want to show that I'm in control of the situation," and whether they're in business or interpersonal relationship, and they don't want to come off as being too forceful or offensive, so there are subtle body language cues that you can give to someone showing them that you still do have control. As you can see, Natalie is the person who wants to get control a little bit more subtly with Josh. She's standing confidently. She has her hand on her hip. She's gazing directly in his eyes, and she's standing confidently using silence. She is appearing attentive to Josh as well. She's showing subtle power that she has some emotion, but she's in control. Also, she's showing him that she is in control by touching him on the shoulder. She's giving him a sign that it's okay but she is definitely in control here and pats him on the shoulder showing that cue. There are many other ways that you can show subtle control with your face and bodily action. Something that I found very interesting was watching President Clinton in the confession tapes when they were questioning him about Monica Lewinsky. A way that he got control and took pauses was biting his lower lip, and did you know within a period of about two minutes, he did that 15 times? So when they asking him questions, he was pausing for answers but he showed control by biting the bottom of his lips and thinking and he maintained eye contact most of the time. Also, political leaders to show control will walk up to a podium first when they have an entourage, the people are behind them. However, when they finish speaking, the entourage leaves first and they're last. It's always the good strong impression to make, and it's subtle as well."