Relationship Advice: List Cherishing Behaviors

"Alright, we're talking about cherishing behavior and your saying to yourself, "Okay, so I start winking at my partner, okay great." No, this is what you want to do. First of all, remember, again, cherishing behaviors. They're affirmative. They're positive. They express good feelings. This is what you have to do and it seems a bit elementary, but this is the best way to make it work. Each of you, write down a list of what it is that you like the other person to do. Now, I'm not talking about in the big scale of things. I'm talking about the little things. I love it when you come home from work and the first thing you do is give me a hug. I love it when; what are those little things that make you feel good about your relationship. Make a list. Exchange list and then for each of you, you need to make a conscious effort and it maybe a little awkward at first. It maybe a little difficult at first to remember, but make a conscious effort every day to do things on the other person's list. And it might seem a bit forced, a bit fake, something to that effect, but eventually, if you start doing these things, they will; it will start to become natural. It will start to become a part of the things that you do and that's what you want to do. You want to incorporate this into the relationship; into the way that you treat each other and what will happen when you start doing this is each of you will feel really good about the other person. You'll really see that they care about you. They're taking the time and the effort to do these little tiny things that make you feel so good. And this will move your relationship into a very, very, positive direction."