Repair Relationships with Productive Communication

"All right. The next thing that we have to do, as we are communicating these thoughts and feelings and ideas to our partner, is we must engage in productive communication. It is not productive to do the blame game, which is what we just talked about. That gets us nowhere. All right? We could do that all day long. As you are communicating your thoughts and feelings and ideas, you want to remember these things: openness, confidence, immediacy, and expressiveness. And what I'm talking about here, be open. Share these thoughts and feelings. You can't say, well you know, I don't know; when you do. Be open. Confidence. Be confident in what you want. That's what relationships are about. You shouldn't feel bad about, well this is what I want. Be confident in expressing what you want, and your thoughts and ideas. Immediacy. Keep it in the now. Well, you used to do that. Well that's irrelevant. What do you want right now, in the immediate now, in the immediate future? How are we going to fix this? And expressiveness. Express your feelings. That's very, very similar to open. Specifically express exact terms about how you feel. I'm sad. I am happy. I am angry. Be specific in your expressions of your feelings and thoughts and ideas."