Relationship Advice: Want Vs. Have

"All right. We realize that we've got a problem. What I want you to do, at this point, is a little bit of visualization. And you might even do it writing it down, pen and paper. Don't necessarily think in terms of pros and cons. But in this relationship, with whomever it's with, what would be the ideal relationship? What would be what you would want? And put it down in concrete terms. The first thing you have to do is figure out what it is you want. Now, in terms of this problem that we've recognized, now we have to look at why what we have is not what we want. What is it that we have? And I think it's a really good idea, even if you're visualizing this, to write it down. This is what I want. I want A, B, C, D, E. This is what I have. Well I have A, B, and C, but I don't have D and E. So you can compare what you want versus what you have. And that helps you, in addition to recognizing the problem, to start to create this ideal relationship, as you begin to repair it."